You Promised

Chapter Six

'No. No. No. You cannot......don't leave......' I splutter.
He puts his arms around me and holds me. His warm touch only makes me more hysterical.
'No! You cannot leave me!' I scream at him. 'Don't let them take you from me! No! No!' I grab him close and bury my face in his shirt. 'It can't be over yet. Not yet.' My tears leave long trails down my face and drop heavily onto his chest. I arch my neck to look at him. His face is white as he looks behind me, focusing on the wall behind my head. 'Adam, speak to me damm you!'
He looks helplessly at me. 'Do you think this is my choice?' He says angrily. 'Do you think I want to go? You and I both know the chance of my coming back.' The anger fades from his voice and he looks like the little boy I knew first from school.
'I-I-I-' is all I manage to gasp before collapsing into his arms, sobbing. We fall back onto his bed. We stay there, until I have no more tears to shed. Then we still stay, saying nothing, understanding everything.
We are disturbed in our world, by Lily knocking on the door, holding a teddy bear. Adam sits up and holds his arms out to her while I wipe my face free of the tears. Lily lets out a cry then runs into his arms sobbing that he has to come home. I sense that they need to be alone so I gather myself together, give him a pleading look that says not to go anywhere unless he sees me again first, before going downstairs to talk to his mother.
Mrs. Green is in the kitchen drinking tea. The teacup shakes in her hand. She sees me and puts it down.
'Hello dear' she croaks. 'Did you speak to Adam?'
I nod numbly. I'm afraid that if I speak I'll break down again and I know that I must be strong for her and Lily. I sit beside her. She sniffs back a cry, so I hold her while she wails in my arms. When she is cried out, I hold her hand while she tells me stories of his childhood, stories that I have heard a million times each. The stories make me smile when I hear the ones I shared with him. I wish that I could go instead of him. Lily comes back downstairs and helps her mother prepare dinner. I know that I should leave but I'm afraid that if I leave, he will not be here when I come back.
Still, I must go home, so I go back upstairs. Adam is still in his room, but he has stopped packing. Instead, he lies in a heap on the floor. He sees me and closes his eyes.
'Its not goodbye.' I say, trying to convince myself more than him. 'You're tough. You will be back in time for Christmas. The Germans will see you coming and run.'
He laughs at my attempt. He stands and looks into my eyes. 'I love you.' I remind him earnestly.
His eyes fill with tears. He rests his hand on my cheek, I let my face relax into his hand. I know that I cannot say anymore. Not talking seems to suit him too. I wrap my arms around him to try and stop my shaking limbs. He rests his head on mine, then his fingers touch my chin and pull my face up to meet his. Our kiss is bitter sweet. Like we are counting the minutes we have left together. My fear for him grips my heart as though in a vice. He senses my fear and pulls me to him. I know that I could stay that way forever. But I also know that I am needed at home.
   'When are you going?' I ask him in a wavering voice.
   'Two weeks' he says simply.
    I nod into his chest, take a deep breath and pull away from his embrace.
   'I'll see you lots before then.' I say to try relieve the tension.
   He nods once and resumes looking out of the window. I kiss is cheek lightly and stand up. 'I'll see you tomorrow Adam.'
   His use of speech is as limited as my own so I take it that he understands. I slowly leave the house, and the family to their grief. I head down the road. Halfway home I stop walking. I stand in the middle of the road. I close my eyes and scream. The sound echoes back around the village. People look up then look away embarrassed when they see the tears flowing freely down my face. I curl up in a ball. I sob into my knees and I don't think that these tears will ever stop coming. That is, until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up. John stands over me.
   'Do I always need to be with you to stop you making a fool of yourself?' He asks then he sees my face and the tears that are on it. He stops smiling and puts his arms under mine. He picks me up and carries me to the side of the road. As soon as he puts me on the ground, I curl up again. He gently puts his hand on my knees and says 'We need to go home, ok?' He speaks to me like I'm a little child but today I don't care. 
   He pulls me up by the arm again and half-carries me back to our house. My weak knees keep shaking so I lean heavily into John's side. Occasionally I almost collapse onto him, but every single time, he steadies me and drags me onward towards our home. 
   Once we reach the front door he stops, placing a firm arm around my waist to hold me up, he gently pushes it open. Again, he gently pulls me up the stairs towards my bedroom. He drops me on my soft sheets, and I lie back onto my pillow and close my eyes as John pulls my curtains shut. 
   'Get some rest Ami.' He murmurs as he shuts the door behind him. I can hear hushed, worried words through the door that's sightly ajar, no doubt John telling my parents about my breakdown. I catch Mother's gasp and Father's concerned grumble as they peek in the door at me, as I drift into a nightmarish sleep.