The Ladies' Room c.h

PROLOGUE

SARAH: WAS IT BIG?!

IT WAS HUGE OMG

SARAH: LIKE A PICKLE?

BIGGER

I shove one more chip up my mouth as I hurriedly type back my foreign response, salt dotting areas of the lit screen.

My response consisted of both actual words from the English language and the bash of random keyboard letters.

People called it, 'Insanity.'

I called it, 'The language of the Fangirls.'

Yes.

It is a thing.

And for those that disagree, kindly accept the cactus that I'm chucking at your face.

SERISLY, SAR IM SO FUCZING EMBRASSED IT HUFS

I chew and swallow the herd of damp chips in my mouth as she instantly responds.

SARAH: BUT I CANT BELIEVE YOU WALKED IN ON CALUM HOOD SHITTING! FUCK SCAR, YOU WIN AT LIFE

Guilt cradles happiness in my chest, and I don't know what to feel. Sarah, she's always been my perverted, 5SOS obsessed, best friend, and her knowing that I walked into the ladies' room and saw Calum Thomas Hood crap in a toilet gives her so much pleasure, the wrongness in it doesn't even fucking exist.

To me, it was horrible on so many levels.

1) I walked in on his privacy.

2) I saw the Italian sausage without permission.

3) I caught him in the washroom of the opposite sex, which may or may not mean something.

Now, I know you're all wondering just how on God's green earth I ended up walking in on the world's most famous bassist taking a leak, and then leaving with chill up my ass.

Truth is, I am nowhere near 'chill.'

After the washroom incident, I couldn't sleep for a full night without seeing Calum's yahoo pop up in my dreams, or the bars and metal on my skin as I envision myself in an orange jumpsuit, begging for someone to bail me out.

'Normality' and 'finding one's chill' are terms that are completely foreign to me after joining the 5SOS Fam.

Sigh.

I blame the three idiots, the puppy, and RJ.

Hey, how are you doing? Good?

Well, I'm Scarlette White; pizza obsessor, a 5SOS enthusiast, and just an ordinary girl who saw Calum Hood's d without being a supermodel or a groupie.

Now, I suggest gathering up all the chill you have left, sitting back, and gripping onto your seats, because this story...

is going to be a hell of one.

AHHHH FIRST STORY BITCHACHOS!

Now, i know this story might seem odd to you, but trust me... I am at least 20-30% normal :)

Just kidding.

This is an idea that I figured out when I was using the washroom at Tim Hortons and it developed into an actual story, which makes me quite concerned and surprised...?

I hope you enjoyed the prologue and hopefully, chapter 1 will make an appearance.

Thank you so much, queens! (That'll be what I call you)

Here's a Calum: 🐶

Sincerely, your favourite bomb ass writer/pizza lover/Calum's future wife

F. Chipotle