The Ladies' Room c.h

DOS

^ thought the photo fit the chapter pretty well

Calum Hood is shitting right in front of me.

He is shitting right in front of me.

He is cleansing out his toxins right in front of me...

"I'm a big fan," I blurt out.

Calum makes the 'what the fuck' face at me before snappy footsteps hastily tap down the hall.

Sarah's voice loudly called out to me.

"Scar!" She shouts. "What the hell happened?!"

Calum's dark eyes horrifically flit towards the open door, before his whole body waddles over.

He extends his muscular arm out to slam the door shut.

"You can not tell anyone," Calum seethes.

Holy shit, he's so hot when he's mad.

I swallow hard and uneasily.

"Look..." My finger twitches back and forth as I hesitantly lean in. "If this is about the whole Snapchat incident, I personally think your D isn't that small."

"That's not the point!" Calum shrieked.

I flinch back in alert.

Calum Hood is shrieking.

What the fuck do I do?

"Will you have sex with me?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

I turn my head away.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Calum bending over, and his hands reaching down to quickly pull the fallen jeans back up his legs.

He hops slightly on the spot while he did, and I admire the way his teeth grip his lip.

"Just please don't tweet this out," Calum huffs, straddling the belt around his waist. "I'm begging you."

"Why are you in the ladies' room anyway?" I ask.

"M-"

But, before he could complete his next set of words, the door of the ladies' room abruptly flung open.

A wide eyed, frantic, Sarah stands there.

Oh, God.

Please, no.

Okay...

My positivity flourishes.

Maybe she won't notice Calum Hood?

"CALUM HOOD!" She screams.

Never mind.

Calum's jaw drops as his pants slip right back down to the floor.

This can not get any worse.

"W-we," I stutter, rigidly moving towards my gawking best friend. "Have to go!"

I don't know what I'm doing or if I'm even thinking, but we had to get out of here.

Now.

It's already bad enough that I walked in on the man's privacy and now my utterly horny best friend just saw Calum in his boxers.

I quickly push away all opposing thoughts and hastily grabbed Sarah's hand, dragging her out.

"No! Wait!" Calum waddled behind us. "Come back!"

Sarah runs on semi tippy toes as she happily yells behind her shoulder.

"Tell Ashton to marry me!" She shouts.

"Oh for fucks sakes, woman!" I roll my eyes, yelling. "Just run!"

〠〠〠

I sit alone-armadillo style-in my bedroom, suffering from PCD, Post Concert Depression and SCHDFTFTS, Seeing Calum Hood's Dick For The First Time Syndrome. 

SARAH: WAS IT BIG?!

IT WAS HUGE OMG

SARAH: LIKE A PICKLE?

BIGGER

I shove one more chip up my mouth as I hurriedly type back my foreign response, salt dotting areas of the lit screen.

SERISLY, SAR IM SO FUCZING EMBRASSED IT HUFS

SARAH: BUT I CANT BELIEVE YOU WALKED IN ON CALUM HOOD SHITTING!  FUCK SCAR, YOU WIN AT LIFE

I CANT BRETH

I chew and swallow the herd of damp chips in my mouth as she instantly responds.

SARAH: WHAT DID HE SAY THO?! LIKE WHUF HAPPENED?

He just said that he didn't want me tweeting about it :(

SARAH: You should make a deal with him. You know, for him to make you not tweet about it.

SARAH NO.

SARAH: But you're curious of what I have in mind aren't you?

I sigh, grazing my teeth over my bottom lip. Of course I'm curious. I'm the fucking Queen of curiosity.

I just don't happen to like being the queen of curiosity under the kingdom of Sarah Donaldson, the creator of curiosity itself.

She knows that being cryptic and hiding things from me irk me to the core.

Using Calum Hood, aka the reason why I'm still fucking breathing, to my vulnerability.

I leaned my head downward, typing back.

Sort of...what exactly are you thinking?

I wait for awhile until the chirp of a bird brought my gaze back down.

SARAH: I have an idea...

SARAH: And oh it's a good one ;)

Jeez this took so long :( school happened and I'm so sorry and gah.

I'll edit this tomorrow.

Thanks for 7 seven votes!

Sincerely,

F. Chipotle