For Love, For Honor - #SYTYCW15 #CarinaPress

Part XII - Chapter 11

The flight home was longer than usual. The four-hour lay over in Salt Lake City seemed a great way to save money at the time Julie purchased the ticket, but now it proved torturous, as it gave her even more time to think. She was tired of thinking. Her mind just wouldn't stop.

Her farewell with Tyler at the airport was bittersweet. There was a palpable shift in their relationship that propelled their emotions to the surface. She didn't want to leave him, but she knew she had to. Not just because she needed to be home for Grammy's funeral, but also because she needed distance from his love. She wasn't sure this love was as beautiful as she first thought.

After a year of dating, most couples would know each other well enough to sense if their partner was someone they could spend the rest of their life with. The natural assessment that occurred over time together would make that process simple, right? If she was being honest with herself, she and Tyler never really had that. Daily video chats really weren't the same as being in the actual presence of another person. To think Tyler had such progressive views on raising a family? That was something she never saw coming. She didn't know how to articulate to him just how much she valued being a mother, nor how much time and devotion it took to do it correctly. Her vision of her future didn't include working outside the home, taking time away from her future children. It was obvious Tyler's concept of marriage and family wasn't as similar as she'd hoped it to be. And somehow that changed everything.

She'd bawled like a child at the airport. Tyler must have felt it too. His eyes were filled to the brim as he watched her walk through the gate. She'd turned for one last look at him. It was all she could do to keep herself from running back into his arms and holding on forever.

She checked her watch. Gah! Another hour of this. It felt as if she'd never make it back to Indiana. Killing some more time, she flipped through the Internet on her smartphone, searching for the sheet music for Brahm's Waltz No. 15 in A-Flat Major. Her entire family insisted she play this piece at the memorial service, as it had been one of Grammy's favorites. She had no idea how she was going to get through this. None. She couldn't even look at the notes without welling up with tears. She was relieved when they called her flight to Chicago.

As the plane finally descended from the clouds for its final approach, Julie tried to gather her belongings and her thoughts, but she was mentally and emotionally spent. Finding her way to baggage claim was a blur. She was simply and suddenly there. And somehow, miraculously, so was her father. Diving into his arms, she felt the safety and refuge she'd unknowingly been floundering without.

The days following Grammy's funeral service passed in a blur of family, food, and treasured memories. She was comforted by her old routine. It was all of the little things that made a difference. Hugging sweet little Amanda in her arms as the child spilled her young heart's concerns brought her a sense of fulfillment and belonging she hadn't even realized she'd missed.

The piercing whistle of the teakettle pulled Julie sharply out of her reverie. She didn't know how long she'd been staring out the kitchen window, seeing nothing but following the tug in her heart to do so. Her mother would be arriving any minute. Something about paperwork and Grammy's estate, she said. Hurrying to set the table with cups and saucers, she jumped at the sound of the car pulling up her drive.

"C'mon in, mom. Door's open."

Her mother's arms were filled with file folders. She dropped them onto the small drop-leaf table with a thud.