Scarlett's Letters

My Rhode

My Rhode,

After writing your last letter I fell apart. I had tried to be ok, to be happy, especially I'm that letter, I tried to seem completely normal. But I failed and fell apart. Now I am better at forcing myself to be happy, or at least ok. But back then (it wasn't even that long ago) I didn't know how to do it without making myself feel more depressed. So I did what I could and it only took me three weeks. Three weeks to start functioning again. To be able to pick myself up and paste myself back together. To be able to think and speak and write without crumbling back to the ground. I tried to write, I did, but I couldn't seem to write your name. But today was different, I sat myself down and said, "Write the damn letter Scarlett, tell him what's going on." Surprisingly it worked, the only problem is that now I am here and there is nothing to write...

I just had the best idea. Or at least it seems good in this moment, as I try to think of something to tell you. I'm going to send you these letters. Don't worry, I know and understand that you are dea-gone. I don't actually expect you to recieve these and write back like a pen pal or something. I'm not crazy... Though most everyone would beg to differ. Anyways, I have decided to send these letters to all our special places. Where we made our best memories and had our best moments.

So maybe in this way, I can stay connected to you (the shrink said that was important for some reason) and I can feel closer to you by going through all our memories.

I'm sending this first letter to the music store, you know the one, with the oldies music? Where you asked me to the dance, right under the faded color poster for the band Maroon 5.

This is how I'll remember you Rhode. And feel close to you. This is how you'll live forever. With hand-typed (almost as good as hand-written) letters scattered around the UCAE. With tears and kisses and laughs and smiles and prayers and hopes and dreams. This, beautiful Rhode, will be your immortality.

Here We Go,

Scarlett