The Love Game (Gods of the Universe: Book 1)

Twenty-Nine

We're running down the hall for only a few minutes before Anubis stops. He leans against the wall, panting, refusing to let go of my hand. "I'm okay," he gasps. "I just need...a minute."

But I can feel something wrong. Something achingly, panic-inducingly wrong. With him. "What's wrong?" I ask, following as he slides to the floor. "Anubis, tell me."

He gasps and I don't think he'll tell me. "Can't...breathe..." he wheezes, clutching his neck.

At first I stare at him, wide-eyed. He can't be suffocating, he's a god! But then I see panic in his eyes and know this is real. I think out loud, a mess of sound stumbling over my own words. "Was it Horus? Why are you...but you can't...it's not possible...Anubis? Anubis? Anubis, can you hear me?" I grasp his shoulders tight and he sounds like he's trying to gasp, but it just sounds strangled and forced and so helpless.

"I love you," he breathes, even as he slumps to the side.

"Anubis!" I shriek, leaning over him. He's still conscious, gasping like a fish for air, but I can tell little to no air is making its way to his lungs. "I love you too, Anubis," I gasp. His eyes don't leave mine. "I love you, I love you, I swear-"

He smiles painfully and places his hands on my hips. "Make it...official," he whispers.

I stare at him. "How?" I plead, touching his cheeks. "Anubis, how?" I frantically search my mind for the meaning of his words. "I...love you. I really, really love you. I swear, I'll never leave you, I promise, because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you..." But the light in his eyes is fading, even as he smiles at all my swears. "Please, Anubis, tell me what to say!" I shriek frantically. Tears are streaming down my face but at this point, I do not care.

"Make...it...official..." Anubis turns his head into my palm to give me what I know is one last kiss. Then he falls completely still and silent.

I only register something catastrophically wrong when his hands fall off my hips.

Then I go into panic mode.

"Anubis," I say, turning his head to face me. "Anubis." It falls back into place. Limp. With no will. Like he's...like he's...

No.

"Anubis? Anubis, can you hear me?" I pull him away from the wall with difficulty so I can straddle his hips so I can better focus on his face. "Anubis. Anubis, please. Please, Anubis, answer me. It's okay, I'm okay, Horus can't hurt me anymore, we're together now, see there's no...more...pain..." I trail off when I realise there is no pain. There's nothing, nothing but sorrow and a cold, cold emptiness.

I place my shaking hand against his neck for a pulse.

There's nothing.

"No," I whisper. Unable to believe it.

I press my ear over his chest.

Nothing.

"No," I say again, this time louder. But my voice sound weak, like I don't really care, so I try again. "No." Still to weak. "No." Better. "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, please!" The cry is wrenched from my throat as Anubis doesn't respond in the slightest. "Please, no!" I gasp, rocking myself gently.

I don't notice the tears streaming down my face.

"Help," I call. Something snaps when no one answers. "Help!" I scream, tearing my eyes from Anubis' face. "Somebody, please, help me!" I can't breathe; I must be hyperventilating. I lower my head into my hands as I sob and gasp, still sitting on top of Anubis' unmoving chest.

I don't know how long I stay there, letting it all flow out. The only coherent though running through my mind is no, he can't be. Can't be still, silent, utterly and completely devoid of anything.

Can't be gone.

That thought makes me scream and hit him on the chest. Then I do CPR, hoping it's maybe not too late to reverse whatever the hell happened to him. But it doesn't work. Nothing works, not screaming, crying, pleading, trying to coax a pulse into his heart.

Anubis is dead.

Oh, the irony, is my next coherent thought as I come to terms with the previous. The god of death, dead? Many would claim impossible, but how so when I have the proof in front of me clear as day?

I laugh. It sounds hysterical. I don't care.

Madness, a voice in me whispers.

So be it, I hiss back. I don't care. I don't care, I don't care, I really, really care. Anubis was the one, the only one, and now he's dead beneath me. Maybe madness is the best choice, the only choice, for me right now.

What about him?

I glance down at the face of perfection and almost break down again. Wouldn't it be, I don't know, hypocritical to date a god of death and not give him a proper send-off? He'd probably be insulted, actually.

What are you thinking?! That voice screams. You're in mourning!

I ignore it. I have to do something, if only to hold off the madness, delay it for a bit. I don't know why...but I do. Anubis' soul deserves a proper journey to whatever afterlife awaits.

So I dry my tears, raise my head to the sky, and pray to whatever powers are left.

"Spirits above and souls below," I begin. "I approach you this day to ask that you guide this soul to the afterlife that may come." I almost choke; I didn't know this would be so hard. "He is Anubis, God of the Egyptian Underworld, Protector of the Dead, and Guardian of the Scales, and his eternal soul deserves peace at last. My only wish is that he never forget me, no matter what may hinder him in his next life." My eyes burn, but I force it all back and carefully stretch myself over Anubis' body until I am completely on top of him; no part of me touches the floor. I rest my head over his investing heart, trembling. "May the starlight guide you and the earth always follow. Rest in peace, Anubis, for your soul is now free." I close my eyes and let out a breath, deciding to stay here until someone comes to this cursed house in the sky. And since all of the beings able to access this place are...unavailable, I resign myself to my fate. I will die here. "I love you," I finish. "I chose you. I choose you, Anubis." I sigh.

Without warning, I sob, finally, fully giving way to the madness that's been lurking beneath my skin I was outed as the only God Wife of these years. It shouldn't be long until I start hallucinating and whatnot.

"Lana?"

My entire body freezes. No, I silently plead as I look up. Please, not this. Not this torment.

But it takes my breath away all the same.

"Well, that was quick," I remark, staring into Anubis' warm brown eyes.

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