Three: Dinner

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The driver gives a loud huff of irritation as I scramble into the back seat of the car. He doesn't even wait until I'm strapped in before he punches in the co-ordinates with his fat fingers. He's always in a bad mood. Never says more than two words to me. But, then again, he isn't paid to make conversation. His job is merely to ensure I make it safely to school, and on time. I barely feel it as the car glides into motion along the autogrid. I have ten minutes to kill, so with a brightly false smile as our eyes meet in the rearview mirror, I reach out and jab the button to raise the partition. I hold his gaze as it slides upwards, shutting us into individual compartments.

My father wanted to have me educated at home, but my mother insisted on school with everybody else. "To be able to rule the people," she'd said, "she must be one of the people." I suppose I can understand her point, but school has been an ordeal I will be glad to see the back of. 

The hard plastic casing of my notepad pushes against my leg. Maybe I should see if there are any further details about this medical appointment. I just wanted to get out of the room this morning, now I regret not pushing Cee for more details before my father barged over. I pull the device from my skirt pocket and light up the screen. As I tap the flashing yellow calendar alert, I concentrate as hard as I can on Corin. I can almost feel the bones of my skull, like walls. I am trapped in my own head. It's so frustrating.

There it is, my appointment. My teeth gnaw on my lower lip as I scan the words. There doesn't seem to be any further information other than the exact time and the name of the doctor. Certainly nothing about a cure. My father is hiding something, something big concealed beneath a veil that I cannot lift, and it makes me uneasy.

***

Jesse Hargood has had a few girlfriends before me, and will no doubt have a few more after. We sit next to each other on the tall steel bleachers surrounding the exercise field at lunch break. Because they can't be bothered marching across the gigantic green expanse, it's the only spot in the whole school where teachers don't forcefully wedge amorous couples apart. I recall watching from afar as he sat in this exact spot with the girl before me. Layla, I think her name was. Call me a creeper, but there's not much else to do when you have no friends.

After a series of gentle kisses that -almost- empty my mind, he stares at me with huge hazel eyes. He has eyelashes girls are envious of. The back of his hand grazes my cheek, flushed with the sting of wintry air.

"What are you thinking about?" Jesse asks.

Why is this question even asked? Most people would be mortified if it was answered honestly. No one really needs to know what thoughts are running through other people's minds. Even Mindlinkers, as I've discovered, can choose what to share. I smile at him, as easily as I can manage, and do what everyone does when put on the spot. Lie.

"Nothing much."

"I don't believe you," he says with a grin. "You have a faraway look in your eyes. What grand idea are you dreaming up?"

I shake my head. "Honestly, nothing. It would bore you."

Jesse grabs my hand, gives it a quick squeeze. "Bore me."

Instead, I stand up. He hops with me down the steep incline of the bleachers. Corin is trying to talk to me. I can feel his thoughts attempting to weave their way in, a small pressure, whispers at the edges of my mind. It seems whether I am listening or endeavoring to ignore, only a small portion of my attention is given to Jesse. Jesse, who clings so tight to my hand it's getting sweaty. Jesse, who is cute and caring, and... curious. Perceptive.

"Benna, stop. Talk to me. Something's up, I can tell. You've hardly said a word for weeks, and that was the shortest lunch time makeout session I think I've ever had the delight to partake in."

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