ANATHEMA

chapter five: be concerned

I woke to a loud, shrill buzzing.

When I opened my eyes, I couldn't remember where I was for a second.

I remembered when I saw Strings writing, 'LOONY LIA' on the wall across from me, in an ink that was most likely not red paint.

I sat on the edge of my new bed, holding my head in my hands.

Light streamed in from the one, tiny window. It was pale, and there wasn't much of it, but there was enough to create a little spotlight onto the floor. Occasionally, I would see the shadow of a bird or some kind of bug flit past.

My thoughts were interrupted by somebody banging on the metal door. Before I could even stand and try to make myself somewhat presentable, the guard of this hallway had pressed a button and opened my door.

Standing in the doorway was the same guard that took me to the main room after Dr. DeLonge gave me a tour of the building (even though I still didn't know where most essential things were, like the bathrooms or the showers).

The large man said simply, "Dr. DeLonge would like to have a chat with you."

I nodded slowly, but then asked, "Can I get dressed first?" The guard nodded once, and turned so his back faced me.

While I slept, someone had brought in my new, hospital clothes I was to wear everyday. They weren't too bad; gray sweatpants (the pockets sewn shut), a pair of black, athletic shorts, a darker gray t-shirt, and a lighter gray sweatshirt. They weren't the most fashionable clothes I've seen, but at least the people in charge cared about how comfortable we were.

I changed into some new underwear (all granny-panty style) and the sweatpants and t-shirt, and slipped into the thin, white, Keds-like shoes they had also given us. I tapped the guard on the shoulder, who then turned and took me by the arm. He wasn't forceful or too painful about it; it was probably procedure.

He led me down a series of hallways and through doors until we finally came to an office. The plate next to the doors said, 'Dr. Thomas DeLonge' with a number of medical degrees and lables underneath it. The guard rapped his knuckles against the wood of the door, to which I heard the faint call of, 'Come in.'

The guard opened the door for me, ushering me in and closing it behind me. When looking up, I saw another man in a doctor's uniform, standing next to Dr. DeLonge's desk. When I made eye contact with him, he smiled warmly at me. He had wavy brown hair and a round face. He was tall, taller than me, yet still short for a man of his age. And he was skinny, too skinny.

Dr. DeLonge stood as he saw me, opening his arms and saying, "Ah, Miss Jones! Please, sit." He gestured to the open seat in front of him. I slowly slid down into the brown leather of the chair, slightly intimidated.

"So, Miss Jones," the second, unknown man said, crossing his arms. "How was your first day at Metropolitan State?"

"Um, I haven't exactly spent an entire day here," I muttered, looking down to my hands. "But, it's, ah, nice enough."

"That's good to hear!" Dr. DeLonge cried. "I've been told by Kenny over there that you've already made friends, as well." I turned around and only saw the guard that's been escorting me places. His name's Kenny?

"Um, I guess so," I said, thinking of the three from yesterday. "They're definitely something else, but they're nice to me."

Dr. DeLonge nodded to himself, seemingly content enough with my answers. He gestured towards the second man next to him and said, "This is Dr. Ross. Since I'm running the place, I can't exactly see every patient! Dr. Ross here will be your doctor; your therapist, your caretaker, your friend. Tell him anything and everything that's
bothering you, and he will help you through it." I looked back to the second man, Dr. Ross. He seemed friendly enough.

"Yes, please, if anything or anyone is bothering you here, you let me know," he said, seriously. "My husband will be running the group sessions every week, as well, so you can tell him anything as well." A small smile spread across my face when I heard, 'husband' come out of his mouth. At least I'm not the only queer here.

"Yes, those are actually today, right? Today's a Thursday?" Dr. DeLonge asked Kenny. Kenny nodded once. The doctor continued, "After lunch, everybody goes to the main room and pulls up a chair in a big circle. The doctor, Dr. Urie, will ask you how your week has gone and if you think anything has changed for you." As he kept talking, Strings smacked his face against the glass of the window next to me, making me jump.

"Miss Jones? Are you alright?" Dr. Ross asked, noticing my panic.

"O-Oh, yeah, I'm sorry," I lied. "I think something just hit the window, it frightened me." Dr. DeLonge exchanged a look with Dr. Ross and started jotting something down in a book in front of me. That look made my stomach twist into a knot.

"Loony Lia! Loony Lia!" I heard Strings shout from outside. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore them.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're doing fine so far. You can go get breakfast now," Dr. DeLonge said with a slight smile. I stood from the seat and followed Kenny out the door and to the cafeteria.

I found Ashley, Josh, and Tyler in the same spot as they were at dinner, my seat open. I slid into my spot and sighed.

"Where were you?" Josh asked, spooning cereal into his mouth.

"Dr. DeLonge called me to his office to see how I was doing. He introduced me to the doctor I have to see every week, but that was it," I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Are you not gonna eat?" Ashley asked.

"I'm not hungry," I sighed. That was a lie, but I wasn't about to get up now.

The two in front of me shrugged and kept eating. The boy next to me sighed and went back to gazing at his fingers.

I laid my head on my arms and sighed.

I couldn't find Strings again.