ANATHEMA

chapter nineteen: your twisted mind

I didn't know what brought me to doing that. I just...did it.

I did know, however, how I felt about this boy in front of me, this fragile, broken boy.

I was pretty sure how he felt, but I will never really know what he thinks in his brain.

His lips were warm and fit mine perfectly, making me melt like I was made of hot candle wax. I sat on the edge of his cot, leaning into him and placing my hand on his chest. He sat up some, almost instantly reacting to my touch. His hands reached up to meet my neck, cupping my face and pulling me closer to him. I could feel every emotion he was pouring into the kiss.

Eventually, I had to pull away for breath. I didn't move far, keeping my forehead touching his, the both of us slightly panting for the air between us.

I looked into his deep, brown eyes and couldn't help but smile.

"Th-That was nice," Tyler laughed quietly.

I giggled, reaching up to place my hand on his cheek, lightly stroking it with my thumb.

"Yeah, it was," I said, agreeing completely.

"I want you to stay," he groaned, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth. "But, you probably shouldn't. A nurse is gonna come and give me breakfast any time now, I don't want you put into solitary because of me."

I let out a sigh, but he was right. I needed to leave.

"When do you get out of here?" I asked him, leaning back.

"Christmas," Tyler sighed. "Three, short weeks."

I sighed again, dropping my head to rest on his shoulder; that was far too long.

"Will you come back?" he asked, his voice breaking slightly. His question slightly threw me off, but I knew why he asked it.

I stood, fixing my crooked clothes and taking a deep breath.

I looked down at him, a small smile on my face, and murmured, "Of course, I will. I promise."

He smiled, looking down at his notebook.

I started to walk away, but Tyler called out, "W-Wait!"

I turned back, an eyebrow raised.

"I didn't happen to give you a song I hadn't finished last night, had I?" His eyes were filled with worry. He must not have remembered.

I laughed through my nose, going back to his side.

"Yeah, you did," I said, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the crumpled up sheet of paper. "You must have been pretty out of it last night." My eyes couldn't help to wander to his bandaged arms, a sinking feeling falling into the pit of my stomach.

"I'm s-sorry about all this," he stuttered, running his hands over the white gauze around his wrists. They must have been changed sometime in the night, as they were pure white without a dot of red on them.

"It's alright," I said, choking over the tears trying to force their way out of my eyes. "We all have our demons. Some are more difficult to deal with, but I'll be here to help you through it, alright?"

Tyler nodded slowly, his own tears making themselves known. I handed him his unfinished song and walked out of the medical ward, before he could see my own crying.

/~/

By the time I left Tyler's side, breakfast had ended. Josh and Ashley were nowhere to be seen.