ANATHEMA

chapter twelve: before you start your day

I woke up in my own room. And it was actually my room, too; the floors were made of carpet and not dirt. The ceiling was there and not covered in dark clouds or crows. My bed and my desk and my window was there. Everything was right.

The only thing that wasn't right was the absence of Strings.

It was like the first time I sat down with Tyler, but he wasn't here right now.

What was going on?

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking on my door, followed by an, "Up and at 'em! Time for breakfast."

I let out a long sigh, but sat up and rubbed my eyes. I got dressed and followed my assigned guard, Kenny, to the cafeteria.

I take my breakfast and pills and slide into my seat. I was the first one there.

I was picking through my rubber-like scrambled eggs when I heard somebody set a tray similar to mine softly on the table, a person quietly sitting next to me.

"It's good to see you again, Ophelia," Tyler murmured. I looked over to him and saw the ghost of a smile on his face.

"It feels good to be back, Tyler," I said back. The grin on his face spread a little, but disappeared when he saw Josh and Ashley head over.

"Ophelia!" Ashley called when she saw me. I sent her and Josh a smile as they sat in their spots across from Tyler and me. "It's so nice to see you again!"

"Yeah, we missed talkin' to ya," Josh said, twisting the ring in his nose.

"Believe me, I missed you guys, too," I sighed, twirling my fork in my eggs. "You wouldn't believe how boring the medical ward is."

"Oh, believe me, I do," Josh said, leaning forwards on his elbows. "Once, I was trying out the new drums in the music room, and I was drumming so hard, the stick flew back and hit me right in the eye. I was stuck in medical for a week. I didn't even need to be there that long. I think they forgot about me in there."

We all laughed at the image of a sad Josh with a black eye sitting stoically in a cot.

"Well, one time," Ashley giggled. "I got in a fist fight with some Debby girl - I won, of course, and she had to be moved to a different hospital - but, she managed to get one in and broke my nose. Only in medical for a couple of days, but it was still torture."

"Oh, my God, Ashley, are you serious!?" I exclaim as Josh bursts into tears with laughter and Tyler shook with his own giggling. "What were you even fighting about?"

"I don't remember," she sighed, letting her head fall into her hands, which only caused the rest of us to laugh harder.

We kept telling stories of how we got injured, whether inside or out of the hospital didn't matter. Tyler even piped in every once in a while, which made me smile a little harder.

We just kept talking and laughing and telling stories, pretending like we were regular people, normal friends gossiping during lunch.

It helped us ignore the fact that we weren't regular or normal in the slightest.

/~/

As the weeks progressed, and I became more accustomed to the hospital's schedule, I became more and more aware of the fact that I hadn't seen Strings or the singing girl from the medical ward since my 'episode'.

I skipped breakfast one day and went to the musical room instead, immediately sitting at the piano.

I remembered the day Tyler showed me this place; how warm his hands felt on top of mine, and how peaceful he looked with his eyes closed as he played.

I found myself smiling slightly when I thought of him. My fingers hit the notes that Tyler taught me to hit as softly as possible, so that only a light sound emitted from it.

"You shouldn't skip breakfast," I heard a familiar voice say quietly from the door, making me jump slightly.

I looked up and saw Tyler himself standing in the doorway, his hands delved deeply into the pockets of his sweatpants and his head hung low.

"I could say the same to you," I laughed lightly.

"What's bothering you?" he asked, walking over to the bench and sliding next to me.

"Nothing you would really understand," I say, repeating the notes I remembered most, trying my hardest not to look at him. I didn't want him to worry about me, I didn't want to see the look of pity in his eyes.

"You can still talk about it," he offered. "If you want. Pretend I'm someone who does understand."

"Well," I sighed. "I haven't seen Strings since my last episode. The last time I was this bad, I had to be taken out of middle school. I can't even imagine what's in store for me for when they come back."

"I think that's okay to be worried about," Tyler said after a while. "Anybody would be scared over that sort of thing, especially for somebody of your...you know, situation."

I smiled slightly and nodded, saying, "Yeah, I suppose. That makes sense." I was still unsure, however, and I let my fingers slide off the keys.

"Is that all you're worried about?" Tyler asked me, placing his hands where mine left off, playing his song.

"No," I groaned, rubbing my eyes. "When I was in medical, there was this other girl who really freaked me out. She never spoke, she just sang everything. Her hair was split down the middle, one side being silver and the other black. I'd never seen her before, but I've only been here for about a month now."

"What was her name?" Tyler asked.

I finally looked up at him; his eyes are filled with worry and it's etched in the lines in his forehead. His eyes searched mine, flitting back and forth between the two.

"I don't know her first name, but the nurses called her Martinez, she's been here since August," I said, trying to recall her first name being said.

I gazed back up at Tyler, who eyebrows were now furrowed.

"I've never heard of a Martinez here. I would know, too, since I've been here since May."