Better Dayz: Lil Herb

Better Dayz: Chapter 10 (Part 3)

Tia Point of View 😛

I been doing online college. I been feeling down lately. I want to give up sometimes but I have somebody who looks up to me now. Ima keep going cause I know it'll pay off in the future. I even got me a job at Walmart. I can't depend on Herb forever. I gotta do some stuff on my own.

Sometimes I feel like I have no purpose. Ever since my daddy died. Chicago been nothing but bad to me. I barely see my mama. I basically raised myself. I seen the dude shoot my dad. It was a block party. Kids was jumping in the bouncer and people was barbecuing. It was just like any other block party. But it didn't feel right. My daddy said he was goin to the corner store real quick. I don't know what was so important that he had to go. But he went. I stood there waiting for him to get back. I watched him walk into the store but when he came back somebody shot him. Three times. Twice in the head, once in the chest.

That was my father. The man I had known since birth. The man who took care of me. My first love. He was suppose to be here forever. He was my protector. I didn't know what to do without him. I still don't. I loved him and he loved me. Him and my mama might of had their differences but they still loved each other even though they weren't together. I think it hit me more than it hit her and it hit her pretty bad. He left her. They had a love / hate relationship.

I just wish he could be here to see me now. How I am now. I just miss him. He always been there for me. But now he can't. He didn't get to see my 18th birthday. He didn't get to meet Tiara. He didn't get to go to my graduation. He left me. He left my mama.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Or that day. I think like maybe if I would've went with him to the store, then he'd still be alive. If I was there, maybe the person wouldn't have shot him.

But then I just think of how he's watching over me and Tiara. I been doin online classes. I'm almost done with my second semester of college. I'm studying to become a nurse. I chose to become a nurse because it's something I always wanted to be and to help people just like my mama.

My baby is almost eight months and gorgeous as ever. She has Herb's eyes, lips, and dimples. She's beautiful.

Harmoney thinks Tiara is her daughter. She comes to see her everyday. And on the weekends Stink basically lives with her. She's with her more than Herb is. I understand he chasing his dream and stuff, but damn. He lives at the studio. But I'm proud of him. I'm not gone doubt his hustle. I wish the best for him. I hope he make it big.

"Hello?" I answered the house phone.

"Hey baby." I heard my grandma voice.

"Hey granny." I said smilin like she could see me.

"How you doin, baby?" She asked.

"I'm good. And you?" I responded.

"I'm hangin in there. How's my great grandbaby?" She asked.

"Eatin." I said laughin.

"That's all that child do." She laughed too.

"And sleep. And cry." I said.

"That's what babies do. Just wait until she could talk. If she anything like you or that auntie of yours, good luck." She said serious but laughed too.

"I'm not that bad granny." I said defending myself.

"Child. I'm tellin you. Them attitudes are horrible." She said.