Four Girls, One Band (5SOSFanFic)

Chapter 19 - "Then you're just going to have to activate bitch mode."

Karly's POV

God, I hated myself.

I had scared Michael, I had almost killed Michael, I had probably ruined The Lucid Dreamer's chance at making it big-time!

I pulled my arms tighter around my knees as I sat on the bathroom floor, rocking slowly while my thoughts consumed me.

It was all my fault.
Malcolm would probably kick us out.
Michael would never talk to me again.
My friends would never talk to me again.
Our band wouldn't be a band anymore.
Everyone would hate me.
Everyone hates me.

And it was all my fault.

Harsh knocking from the other side of the door made me glance towards the door then back at the floor.

I didn't want to face them.

They were probably angry, they were probably going to shout at me and tell me that Malcolm has kicked us off the tour.

They were going to shout.

I was going to cry if they shouted at me.

I'd managed to not cry so far, but as soon as one of their voices turned nasty, I wouldn't be able to stop the tears.

Come on, Karly, just convince them to go away. You're fine. Perfectly fine. They can't see your face, you've got this, just make your voice confident and convince them to go away. You've got this.

"I - I'm fine!"

The knocking stopped briefly, giving me the chance to breathe, before it started again.

"Karly! You are not fine and we all know it! Open this door!"

"No!"

"Open the door! We're not mad, we want to comfort you."

"Yeah, right."

"Karly..."

"Gaby, I am not going to open the door. You're all just going to shout at me..."

I mumbled the last bit under my breath so they couldn't hear me.

"Please?"

"No."

More silence, then low murmuring, then more door knocking.

"KARLY! OPEN UP THIS FUCKING DOOR!"

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL JUST GOING TO YELL AT ME!"

Silence.

"Why would we do that?"

"Because Malcolm's going to kick us off the tour! That's it, isn't it? Because I almost killed Michael, Malcolm's going to kick us off and we're going to all break apart and it'll all be my fault and - !"

"Karly, we explained it to Malcolm and had a chat with him. He's wary, but he's not going to kick us off. I'd just suggest staying away from Michael for a while."

I didn't believe her. Olivia may have known me for the longest, she may have seen her fair share of my breakdowns, but that didn't mean she couldn't be lying and/or angry.

"Yeah, well, I don't care! I'm not opening this door!"

"Karly... Please?"

"Hmmmmmm...No."

"Why not? All you've got to do is open this door and let us in. We know you're... having a tough time right now. We can help you feel better."

"I'm not having a 'tough time right now.'"

I lied. But they didn't need to know that.

I heard Olivia sigh.

"Karly... Denying it isn't going to make it any better. You need us, stop trying to ignore it!"

I remained silent and wrapped my arms even tighter around my knees as I ignored my tears. I knew she'd stay but eventually, she'd have to go away.