dear ashton ;; ashton irwin a.u

tuesday september twenty-ninth, 2015

tuesday september twenty-ninth, two-thousand-and-fifteen

dear alaska,

the show last night was crazy! and funny at the same time, because both calum and mikey fell on stage. mikey fell when preforming never be. and calum fell while handing his guitar to a fan that luke had pulled on stage, during rejects. it was hilarious. all you could hear was my 'manly' giggling as both of these events occurred.

on another note, i'll be able to see you soon, in a month or two. not as soon as i hoped, but it's good enough. mum called me again. she said that the last time she talked to you which was two or three days ago, you started to full on cry while talking about me. i feel so bad because i'm the cause of your tears. and that makes me feel like complete shit. and i'm so mad at myself because i left without saying goodbye. i didn't fucking say goodbye to you, my bestfriend. i had to get luke to fucking tell you. that makes me out to be a big asshole.

i just didn't think i'd be able to face you. please don't take that the wrong way, but i just feel like i would've broken down like the softie i can be and asked you to come with me in the tour. but you wouldn't have been able to come because you have school. if only you could drop out. but i know school is important to you, so i'm not gonna ask you to do so.

i just can't wrap my mind around the fact that i made you cry. it shatters my heart. i had told cal about it after mum informed me, and he told me that i should man up and face my fear of talking to you. it'll be weird though. you know. after not talking to you for six weeks. if i called you, i'd probably be able to hear the cracks is your voice as you tried to suppress your sobs. and god knows what you'd be thinking of in that head of yours. you'd probably be cursing me out, telling me that you hated me for not saying goodbye and that you never wanted to talk to me ever again. but those would be your thoughts.

i, including a lot of other people, know that you'd put on a tough front and not speak your minds harsh words, but your minds kind words, the ones not banishing people to the depths of tartarus. the guys and i miss you so much, alaska, only hoping that that month or so wait to see you again will fly by with a blink of an eye.

yours truly,
ashton irwin.

//

i'm crying.

ashton really misses her even though he's with bryana.

this is only ashton's second letter of many. (did that make sense?)

+

three updates in one day! i'm on a roll.

sorry for any spelling + grammar mistakes

-kenny