This cannot be happening to me. Never in my life, I thought I would have to drive to a drugstore at midnight to buy 3 pregnancy tests. I'm just glad my best friend is here with me. I take a deep breath as I grab 3 of them and walk over to the counter. The lady behind the counter gives me a concerning look and I just shrug it off. She puts them in a bag and says goodnight. I place my hood back on my head as I step into the cold rainy Autumn night. I get into my friend's car and she drives back to my house. She squeezes my hand tighter reassuring me that she's not going anywhere. But as for my boyfriend, I have no idea. We walk back into my house trying not to wake up anyone. But anyone I mean my mom. It's just me and my mom in this huge lonely house. We walk upstairs into the bathroom and she sits on the bathroom floor waiting for me to pee on the stick. I just look at her.
" C-Could you like turn around?" I ask.
" You're my bestfriend, I've seen your boobs before. Nonetheless, pee."
" You're making me nervous."
" Drama Queennnnn."
She turns around.
" Could you put your hands over your eyes?" I ask.
" Reagan!"
I chuckle and watch her obey my orders.
" You know you're being ridiculous?" Talia asks.
" Shut up."
I take a deep breath as I pee on the stick and then repeat for the other two. We have to wait a while. I find myself making a new habit of biting my nails. Then I find myself asking, " What do you think Orion will do if I am pregnant?"
" I think he will stay by your side and if he doesn't, I'm here. I'm always here Reagan."
I smile knowing that she's not lying. She smiles back at me. Talia Angelina Roberts. Best friend since first grade when I told her dress was ugly and she spit in my lemonade. We've been best friends ever since. Through training bras and periods, Talia has always been my right hand man. The timer goes off for the tests. We walk back into the bathroom and I don't even want to look at them. Talia sighs and flips them over. They're all positive. Talia gasps in delight while I gasp in fear. I try my hardest to keep in all the tears that are wanting to escape my eyes. Academics. Academics and being with my friends and my boyfriend is what I want to focus on. I don't want to have to focus on how much caffeine I can consume or my eating. I want to be a teenager but I guess it's what I get for doing adult things.
" You're going to be a great mother." Talia smiles.
" Talia, I have to go to a doctor. These are just ones to take at home and they might not be true."
" We'll go to the doctor."
" Talia, I'm going to be in so much trouble."
" Look Reagan, I will be by your side the entire time."
" Do I have to tell Orion?"
" Yes you do."
" What if he breaks up with me?"
" What if? You have me, Reagan. And my mom."
" Do I have to tell my mom?"
" Yes you do."
I start crying. My older sister Kendall got pregnant around the same age I am right now and my mom kicked her out. So I know that this isn't a positive outcome for me.
" Don't start thinking about what happened to Kendall. She got kicked out and she made something amazing out of it. She's a freaking lawyer." Talia laughs.
Which makes me laugh. Kendall did make something amazing out of that. Her boyfriend, now husband stayed with her and now they have a cute little daughter with a dog.
" I should probably go talk to her."
" And you should and you know she will be there for you."
I smile and hug Talia. She hugs me back.
" Thank you for being here." I say.
" Of course."
" I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt!" Talia smiles.
This is more Talia's dream than mine but Talia was smart enough to get on birth control. It's Talia's dream to have a house full of kids and crayon covered walls and messy faces to clean after and drive an Odyssey. She loves kids. This isn't my dream. Not at all. I wasn't even thinking about having kids ever until I got knocked up. Secretly I know Talia wishes that it was her pregnant instead of me and I wish I could grant her that. But I should have just been smart and made a trip to Planned Parenthood. Now I might be out of a home or a mother.
" Reagan, I don't know how many other ways I can put this but you're going to be fine. You're going to be the best parent ever. Whether you're a single parent or not." Talia says.
" I'm only in 11th grade."
" That's fine. We will get through this."
" What about an abortion?"
Talia just stares at me. I feel horrible for saying that now. Killing a baby that I had the choice to make. Abortion is murder. Talia is one of those artsy kids who sit outside the abortion clinics for hours taunting people into not killing their babies. I wish I was brave like her. And the thing is it usually works. She tells them that babies have fingernails and all that crap and people keep their children.
" Are you serious?" Talia asks.
" No. Yes. I mean no. I'm having the baby."
Talia's face brightens back up. I don't want to have his baby knowing I'm only doing it for her. I want to have the baby just as much as she wants me to have it but right now all I can think about is if I should pack up my room and go. Talia just stares out into space smiling probably thinking about how shes gonna give them cute nicknames and take them shopping. I sigh then smile at her.
" We should get to bed." I say.
" Yeah that's smart. Tomorrow, I'll make up your eating schedule and everything."
She seems so happy but I wish I could say the same about myself. She's thinking about the cute pudgy faces and the new baby smell. I'm thinking about the labor and the expenses. Babies are very expensive and I don't even have a job. Plus my boyfriend is a legal adult. Does this mean jail time for him? Or worse prison? Because I'm pretty sure impregnating a minor is a felony. All of this is making me sick. But whatever I will try to be the best mother I can to this baby. But that is of course if the three pregnancy tests were false positives. Then what? I just broke Talia's heart.
