Butterfly Keeper // h.s. au

Chapter Fourteen

I don't end up telling Courtney about what Angela said to me that day. But that doesn't mean that the words and the way she so strikingly delivered them to me don't swirl and crash in the walls of my mind like clothes in a washing machine. I find myself worrying about it a lot in the next few days. And anxiety, my old familiar friend, slowly begins to trickle her way back into my life.

Of course I hadn't done that to Cara's car, only someone with a point to prove or a very corrupt mindset could attempt something so low. But who's to say Angela couldn't make up a story and frame it all on me? Did she actually believe that me, the girl who can't even throw a proper punch, would be brave enough to highjack someone's vehicle? And more importantly, had she told anyone of her speculations about me?

If she decided to act on her assumptions and report me to the police I'm sure I could easily have the whole thing pinned on me. I'm the perfect suspect, the shy girl who had a sketchy drama with her popular roommate right before it all went down. I would lose my opportunity to get my degree here, most likely go to jail.

Every second that I'm alone with my thoughts I feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest, pumping fear into my veins. I can't really sleep all too well, and when I do my nightmares jump off the pages of my imagination. And while I'm here, slowing down into the ever so graying color scale of my world, I watch as people race past me in vibrant colors. I try to stay upbeat around Courtney and Sarah, but when they ask me to do things I usually turn them down. That results in an exchange of odd looks between the two and an "are you okay?" text from one of them later.

But you know, I wish I could join them. I wish that anxiety didn't hold the key to the cell inside my mind. I wish I was just like everyone else.

As I wake up from another sleepless night I roll lazily onto my side and grab my phone from my night stand. A text from Jessica is bright on the screen reading, Happy Birthday Pumpkin babe! I'll see you soon to celebrate! Xoxo

I squint at that text for a moment, my brain feeling like It's lodged in a snowbank. Today's my birthday? I scroll to my calendar app on my phone, the square for 'October 31st' is a brighter blue than the rest.

Shít, it is my birthday. I groan and pull my pillow over my face. Had I really forgotten? I count the past few days in my mind several times to make certain and sure enough it all adds up.

Luckily for me everyone should be too busy with Halloween shenanigans to even think of my birthday. And I don't suppose anyone here even knows when I'm born anyway, I've never told Courtney or Sarah. I slightly smile at this fact, giving me the motivation to finally get up and get dressed for the day.

Cara's taking a hiatus from school until she's fully recovered, so I've decided to move back into my dorm room. It's kind of nice to have the place all to myself, but at the same time the room still feels like It's holding the ghosts of all my bad memories taken place inside these walls.

I take longer than usual to charm my skinny jeans up my legs, sighing dramatically when the material gets stuck on the ends of my feet. And after that I'm too tired to put any more effort into my appearance so I just throw on my favorite maroon sweater and head out, backpack slung over my shoulder.

My first two classes seem to drag on forever. Lots of students are wearing orange and some even take the liberty of wearing cat ears or face paint. I'm actually surprised because I thought people stopped doing crap like that after middle school.

I remember when I was little Jessica told me everyone dressed up on Halloween because they all knew it was my birthday. And I honestly thought I was the most special kid in the universe, my birthday was one big celebration for everyone I knew. That is, until one year while trick-or-treating I asked an older boy why he didn't dress up for my birthday and he told me that it was Halloween and that no one gave a single shít about my birthday. That was an emotional night for my seven year old self.