Butterfly Keeper // h.s. au

Chapter Twenty One

My fingers tremble as they hover over the keyboard. He texted me, this is what I've been waiting for. But I feel so nervous, like he's watching me somehow and knows that I'm with another boy. Then again, me and Zayn are just friends, and it's ridiculous to think that Harry would be watching us right now.

    I know I'm just paranoid and anxious, I've been living off of minimal sleep lately and my father always used to tell me that everything seems more emotional when you're lacking sleep. It's like your brain is out of fuel so it starts to go a little haywire, and I hate feeling that way. I hate feeling like I'm going crazy when in reality I just need a good night's rest. I remind myself of this as I attempt to calm myself down, but my anxiety puts up a good fight.

    "Are you alright, Charlotte?" Zayn asks worriedly as he leans in to peer at the screen of my phone.

    I reflexively click the 'off' button, and put the phone face down in my lap. I have nothing to hide, but at the same time I don't really want Zayn seeing that Harry wants to know where I am. He gives me a look of confusion, his brows slightly pulling together as he waits for an explanation.

    "Yeah, sorry. I just have to use the bathroom. Do you know where they're at?" I ask, feeling a wave of guilt for not being completely honest with him.

    "Oh, yeah, they're in the back." He stands, brightly colored balls falling from his lap as he does so and offers me a hand.

    I accept the kind gesture as he helps bring me to my feet. I follow quietly behind him as he leads us to the back of the establishment, his hands in his pockets and his sleeves bunched up at his elbows. Kids dash in front of us as we walk, giggling with smiles on their faces before disappearing into different bounce houses. Finally as we pass the arcade area, Zayn stops at a small hallway and gestures to the two doors inside on the right wall.

    "I'll wait out here." He says with a half smile as he settles onto a blue bench perched just outside of the hall against the wall

    I give him a nod of gratitude before turning on my heel and walking into the woman's bathroom. Inside I can hear a mother and her child in the first stall. I opt for the big one at the very end, nosily locking the door behind me before slumping against the tile wall and pulling my phone from my pocket. I immediately pull up Harry's text, reading the three letter sentence again and again in my mind.

    A mixture of anger and happiness mix within me when I read those words, anger for how it makes me feel, like he's pointing a finger at me. I can imagine his pink, plump lips forming the words with soft green eyes narrowed on me in anger. "Where are you?" But I'm happy for the fact that he texted me first, he wants to know where I am. I'd expect him to be more stubborn and wait at least a week to contact me, causing me to question if maybe I'm the one being stubborn here.

    C: I'm out...

    I press send and let a nervous sigh leave my body. My hands are trembling as I hold my cell phone in my hands. My body has always dictated that I worry in just about every situation, even when in my mind I may not even be nervous. I don't like it, it makes me feel like I'm not in control of my own being.

    "Mommy, why do we have to use the potty?" The little girl from the first stall asks her mom.

    Her small voice echoes throughout the room but is quickly drowned out by the flushing of a toilet. I listen with my phone clutched to my chest as their stall door creeks open.

    "Because our bodies have to get rid of the bad stuff we eat." The mother says in a sweet voice as she lifts her daughter up the sink to wash her hands. I watch quietly from my place against the wall, a sliver of their bodies showing through the crack in the door.