The battle destroyed everything. I'm not even going to mention the damage to others. Because that will make me even more depressed and negative and I don't think I can handle that. Selfish. I know. But what can I do?
Let me tell you how I'm feeling right now. My parents and I escaped at the very last moment before the battle was over, and I'm not proud of that. I am not proud of anything that I did in the last 7 years. To be honest I don't think I can even say that I am proud of something I did since I was born. I am not even proud of being born.
The feeling I have been feeling for years now is the feeling of someone who is not worthy of anything good. Hence why I took upon myself what my father had given me, life of regret. I was hoping for it to end with my death, because I knew that I would feel what I feel now if happened otherwise.
When we arrived home, I knew that the ministry was looking for us. Yet again I was hoping that they would sentence me with death. Or being sent to Azkaban so I could die with a dementor's kiss. So I contacted them. Father was sent to Azkaban to my relief, and mother had been watched ever since. To my disappointment my situation was similar to mother's.
Living with her in our dark, cold, big manor was lonely and caused me even more depression. Mother missed father so much, she was screaming for days on end and didn't leave her room. It was too much for me and I left. I found myself in a small wooden house in a forest, far away.
And then the feelings finally struck me with full power. With nothing but myself in the woods, with time to think of all I've done I came to a conclusion. I was a filthy, vile, awful human being. I am one.
After days of self-loathing I decided that I should try and earn the forgiveness that I got from so many different people. Because up until now, I didn't deserve any of it. So I went to find the place that would show me the courtesy and help me find what I need. Myself.
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A/N
I know it's short but that is it for now. Hope you like it!
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I'll Be Good
FanfictionI wanted to create something more than a love story. I always needed a sign that says that Draco has been doing fine after the battle. To me it's kind of obvious that he has a hard time forgiving himself even though the rest of the wizarding world k...
