Sad and Mad

n

part ten.

LOU

christmas. the greatest, joyous, most glorious time of the year.

so why did i feel so depressed and deflated?

my mood swings had been spontaneous the past week or so, and people around me have noticed. my family distances themselves from me and kids at school altogether whisper to each other in front of me. even nicholas has become submissive and silent.

i almost broke down last night in my room. it's so saddening, when you suddenly think about the most devastating thought ever and it just completely breaks your hard facade of you acting fine.

truly, i wish i wasn't me.

i finished wrapping the last gift and stuffed them all under the tree, insisting to my parents as i heaved them downstairs that i needn't their help.

"lucy, have you been taking your medications?" my mother asked, glasses on the tip of her nose as she typed furiously on her laptop in the kitchen.

i nodded, and for proof, took my pill for the day. it was useless, acted like a sugar pill, but i did it so my mother wouldn't yell.

"your father is coming home, tonight. don't worry, my love." she glanced over at me warmly and smiled. did it really show i was that upset?

i smiled back and said, "yeah, i know. i mean, doesn't he have that huge surgery though? the heart transplant?"

she nodded and pursed her lips. "we'll just have to wish on a christmas miracle, for our family and for the patient's."

her words were wistful and wise. i appreciated them.

"how are things with nicholas?" my mother asked, her eyebrows raised with concern.

i shrugged. we hadn't talked much because of schoolwork and homework. the last time we were on a date was two weeks ago at the ice rink.

"are you inviting him over for christmas?" my mother asked, pulling her glasses off her face delicately.

i nodded, blushing at the memory of what i had asked him to buy me.

i'd been planning out a nice night before we both left for college. i'd already bought the "sexy lingerie" and the candles. just wanted to be romantic and whatnot.

"okay, just make sure you bought something for mrs. worthington as well." mom says before sparking inspiration and continuing to type.

i trudged back upstairs and stared disappointingly at myself in the mirror.

what a pathetic looking loser.

---

NKW

mom had come home from her last business trip of the year, and was singing along to her favorite mariah carey song with a broomstick in her hand and a sloppy bun pulled up.

she admired the photo of my father beaming at us on our fireplace mantle. "every christmas, my love goes to you, henry." she whispers, kissing her hand and placing it tenderly on the frame.

she hadn't noticed my appearance until the song ended and i was chewing my skittles.

"nic!" she said flustered, embarrassed i caught her singing.

i held my hands up and insisted, "i saw nothing."

"that's my boy!" she giggled, holding her broom tightly and collapsing onto our couch.

my mother and i had a relationship more like a brother and sister would. she showed strict professionalism on the outside, but once she took her suit off and slipped powerpuff girls jammies on, she was about as innocent as a four year old.

"christmas is in 2 hours. what did you get me?" she demanded, dropping the broom and stroking the gifts underneath our tree.

laughing, i said, "christmas eve starts in 2 hours. christmas is tomorrow."

she pouted, begging, "please, i'll give you my gift if you give me yours."

rolling my eyes, i countered, "no, and plus, lou asked for us to join them for christmas. so you can get your gift then."

"fine." she said, picking the broom up and turning the music back on. she waved bye to me as she cleaned the rest of our house.

i decided to text lou. hey!!

hi

what're you doing

writing

LOUUU

what

i wanna read!!

good for you, maybe you should find help in school, i'm sure a teacher would help

so sweet of you

i meant i want to read what's in your mind

tell me what you're writing

idek

what does that mean?

like, idk what i'm writing.

is it a poem? a story?

yeah. a letter.

what kind of letter?

a nice note.

so is it written to someone?

no one in particular, just really bored.

gtg, mom needs help with dinner.

ok. love you!

see you tomorrow.

---

oh snap!

anyway, this story is way longer than normal short stories, but whatevs.

geez the story's almost over