Sad and Mad

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part eleven.

LOU

christmas. it was finally here.

i balled my fists up into my sweater and walked slowly down the stairs.

it's only 4 am, and nobody is awake yet, but i love the pure essence of christmas and i sit in the living room on the floor by the tree, just embracing the holiday smells and the warm fire.

fire. it's so pretty. it looks like its waving at me. hello, fire. how are you? it's christmas today, fire. hey, did you want anything from santa?

the fire is entrancing and waves hi back, its body barred by the fireplace. that's mean of my parents, to place the fire inside a building, where it can't express its true identity. i bet the fire can spread beautifully across the home if it wanted to, if only it weren't trapped in the fireplace.

poor fire. just like me, my parents trapped it.

and so, i decided i would help a fellow prisoner out and free the fire.

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NKW

the hospital was a place so many people were in. knee scrapes, the flu, early onset dementia, and a plethora of infections and diseases were diagnosed in the hospital.

the humming mills hospital was a place with purple hospital chairs that creaked when you laid back into them. there were yellow and white tiles across the floor, dirty with grime and tainted with many bloody accidents spewed across it.

as my mother and i wait in the hallway, sitting in those plastic chairs and staring down at the yellow floor, one thought spreads across my mind.

why did it take them so long?

after an hour or so, i don't know i lost track of time, my mom waved a hand in my face and said gently, "do you want anything from the cafeteria?"

i tried responding politely, but my voice strained and i ended up just groaning at her. she sighed and left to presumingly the cafeteria.

"nicholas?"

it wasn't lucy. it was her dad.

i stood up and attempted to greet mr. undersaw, but he pulled me into a hug tightly.

"it just doesn't make sense. why would she do it?" he was sobbing, choking on the words and crying into my shoulder.

and then, he was comforting me. because he wasn't the one crying, i was. i was crying into his shoulder.

"i'm sorry, nic. i'm so sorry." dr. undersaw said, holding my neck and patting my back roughly.

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