The One That Got Away

Part 11

I kept playing with the keycard staring at it,
I felt so torn.

I wanted him, oh god I wanted him for so long.

I never stopped wanting him.
The day I walked down the aisle, I was secretly hoping I was going to see him at the very end waiting for me.

But it wasn't.....
I wasn't marrying dark and dangerous, I married security.

Life with Alec was simple, normal, the day I married him I knew he wasn't going to be nothing like Dominic.

So I placed my "what ifs' in the past.

Alec wasn't dark, dangerous, or cruel.
He didn't have blood on his hands, he was the safe choice.
I knew there would never be drugs, or hookers, or mob-bosses around, I never had to fear if he was going to make it home that night.

I knew I never had to look over my shoulder, life was just simple with Alec.

And I should be happy with simple....
But the problem was, I wasn't happy....

Did Dom hurt me, yes.
He hurt me for years, I always felt like a fly caught in his spiderweb, and he knew it from day one.

Even as a kid Dom was different, he wanted to be in charge, and as he got older he wanted power!

He was ruthless, he would laugh with you first, before he stabbed you in the face with a knife, never looking back.

He reminded me of a king cobra, a beautiful exotic creature.
Charming and lovely, presenting himself tall and proud.
He would never take his eyes off you, and when it came time he would inject his venom into you silently, watching you die slowly.

The man put me  through hell, absolute hell!

Maybe I was a masochist, maybe I loved his pain, maybe I was drawn to his darkness.
I feared him, just as much as I desired him.
I feared his monsters, but I never hid from them.

So yeah maybe I was a masochist.

His father used him for his monstrous side.....
Let me rephrase that.
His father fed the monsters, turning him into something much worse.
His father!

I watched this man come home night after night covered in blood, and never his own.
But thinking back, I would of never expected his reaction when I told him I was pregnant.

I was awaiting a brutal beat-down to the point of miscarriage.
But what came next took me by complete surprise.
He started to cry....

He kissed me so hard, than got on his knees and kissed my flat stomach, then he got up and threw away all of the drugs.

I just wish it would of stood that way.

Shaking off the thoughts.

I looked at the clock, half past six, I finished my last client an hour ago, I just sat in my chair watching the hours tick by as the memories came along with it.

"Dom we gotta find her!"
I cried wiping at my dampened face, we was out searching for Jenny, my mom called me for the first time in two years crying hysterically telling me she ran away.

I was a nervous wreck when we hung up, I immediately jumped into a pair of sweatpants, barely squeezing into them,
I really was in desperate need of maternity clothes.