Chim - Keep Holding On

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Cheryl lay in her bed as the sun shone through the window. She was desperately trying to figure things out in her head. She had been flitting in and out of sleep during the night, her mind too busy to rest for long. After seeing Kimberley last night, even if it was only for the briefest of seconds, she knew she couldn’t keep going on the way she had been. It felt like her feelings had only intensified since seeing her, as though it was a wake-up call that all this was in fact a reality, not just a nightmare. She knew she had to stop hiding. She went through everything Nadine and Sarah had said to her, while twirling Kimberley’s lipstick in her fingers. She looked over to the other side of the bed where Kimberley used to lie with her arms wrapped around her.

And that was it, something clicked; she had to see Kimberley, she just couldn’t deal with the pain any longer, she had to tell Kimberley everything and pray to god it wouldn’t be too late. But after what Nadine had said she worried that it would just be selfish of her to turn up at Kimberley’s and beg her to hear her out. She shouldn’t keep messing her around. But then again, Cheryl had thought she had been doing what was best for Kimberley, but Nadine had made it clear that Kimberley was far from happy. Cheryl had to do this. She knew what she wanted, and needed. Kimberley was the only thing she cared about it in her life now, and if there was the slightest chance she could put things right then she would sure as hell try.

Cheryl jumped out of bed the second her mind had come to its conclusion. She tore off her pyjamas and got dressed faster than she’d ever known herself to. She hastily put on a minimal amount of make-up and glanced at the clock to see it was nearing 10am. She hoped Kimberley wouldn’t be working in the studio. She ran down the stairs, grabbing her bag as she went, and rushed out the door to her car.

For the whole journey there she could only hear her heart beating in her ears. She didn’t have a clue what she was going to say to Kimberley, she just hoped the right words would come to her when she saw her.

She pulled into Kimberley’s drive and was relieved she didn’t see another car there apart from Kimberley’s. She walked slowly to the door, her nerves taking over her as she rang the doorbell and waited the agonising seconds it took for the door to open. And there she was. Cheryl felt herself release a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. She saw surprise in Kimberley’s expression, and as Cheryl looked at her she realised there was something different about her, which she hadn’t had the chance to see last night; her eyes weren’t exuding their normal warmth, they just stared blankly at her.

The silence between them remained as they both looked at each other properly for the first time in too long.

“What are you doing here?” Kimberley asked quietly, a frown appearing on her face.

“I just...needed to see you,” Cheryl replied pathetically, now wishing she’d thought about what she would say. “Can I come in?”

Kimberley didn’t reply, she just continued to look at Cheryl, which was making Cheryl feel a little uneasy. She gathered she wouldn’t be coming in then.

“Please, Kim, I need to explain-”

“Oh, so now you want to explain?” Kimberley asked, looking at Cheryl as though she couldn’t believe she had the nerve to be doing this. “You leave me out of the blue with no explanation, don’t talk or see me for five weeks, but now you want a chat?”

Cheryl winced at the anger in Kimberley’s voice. “Please, there’s something you should know.”

“I think I know what happened.” Kimberley said matter-of-factly. Cheryl stared at her, unsure what she meant, but waited for her to go on. “It’s obvious, you were just too much of a coward to tell me. I was obviously holding you back in your career, so you just thought you’d end your ‘bit of fun’ without explaining to me why.”