When Everything Seems Wrong ♡ Newtmas

#4: Sticks and Stones

A/N

So in this chapter there will be some swearing, and some extremely hurtful words that do not in any way reflect on my opinions.

This chapter is EXTREMELY long  and unedited, but please bear with me. Things are finally starting to get rolling.
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Thomas

It's been two days since the scene in the park with Newt and he was giving me complete radio silence. I tried calling, texting, emailing, even sending notes with Minho. The space Newt was putting between us hurt more then any physical blows could.

I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss we shared on the bench and the the negative way Newt reacted.

I thought he wanted it, I thought he could also feel the sexual tension in the air like a weight.

Despite how it ended though I didn't regret kissing Newt. The feeling I got in my chest as our lips touched was the best thing I've ever felt. Truly irreplaceable.

I walked into my English lesson and my heart leapt into my throat when I spotted the blond haired boy sitting alone in the back row.

"This seat taken?" I said pointing to the seat on his left.

I don't know what I expected his reaction to be, but I was surprised to see a big smile plastered across his face as he nodded.

I sat down and turned to face him with five minutes left until the lesson started.

"I'm sorry Newt, I really am." It may not have been entirely true, but I wanted to make sure everything was okay between us.

Newt didn't answer, instead he reached into his bag and pulled out a notebook as the professor started printing their name on the board. Mrs. Ava Paige.

I was staring at the front of the room when Newt whispered to me, "There's nothing to apologize about, nothing happened."

I shot him a confused look which he didn't see since he was busy writing the date on his page.

***

After all the lessons for the day were finished and any hard feelings between Newt and I were resolved, we made plans to eat dinner in the dining hall with Minho and then after go to Newt's to watch a movie.

During dinner Minho complained about all of his professors and folds us about a girl in his business class, Brenda, who he had his eyes on.

When we finished eating Minho went off to romance Brenda off her feet while Newt and I headed to his dorm.

When we walked in I was amazed by how neat the place was, par a few items of clothing strewn across the floor.

"So what do you wanna watch?" Newt asked me as I sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Whatever you want, as long as it's not The Hunger Games."

Newt gave me the most terrifying death glare I'd ever seen and took a menacing step towards me. "What's wrong with The Hunger Games?" He asked in a growl.

Which I have to admit was god damn sexy.

"Nothing," I chuckled. "Except that it's the second worst love triangle I've seen. Only beaten by Twilight."

"I must inform you ya bloody shank that I'm very passionate about my fandoms, and you just insulted one. So this means we're watching The Hunger Games until you get it through that shuck brain of yours that it's a beautiful work of literature and film."

He released a giant huffing noise and grabbed the movie from his bookshelf.
I couldn't help giggling at how much Newt cared about the smallest things.

Newt walked back and say beside me with his laptop between us. He popped the movie in and as it started he still wore a scowl.

"You know, I don't know much about you except that your name's Newt and you have a good taste in music." I said looking back and forth between him and the screen.

He looked at me and his face finally released it's frown. "My name's actually Newton, Newton Sangster. My birthday is August third and I'm eighteen. I'm a only child and spent the last year of high school living with my cousin."

Something about that last part seemed like it had a story to it, but when he didn't elaborate I just smiled and nodded.

He raised his eyebrows and have me a tiny smirk. "Your turn, Tommy boy."

I rolled my eyes and said the first things that popped into my mind.

"My full name is Thomas O'Brien, and I'm seventeen. My birthday'a November fifth so you win the age category," He smiled and punched my arm as I finished.

"And I have a younger brother named Ben plus a cat, so yeah."

"Really?" He asked. "You seem like the dog type." He told me, scrunching up his face. He acted as if this little genuinely confused him, which was adorable.

I laughed and turned to watch the forgotten movie. The girl was fighting with the boy from her District after their tv interviews.

The room was now filled with a silence that seeped in like gas, making it hot and hard to breathe.

A thought that had been haunting my mind for days now floated back into focus and before I could stop myself I was saying his name. "Newt?"

"Yeah Tommy?" He didn't look away from his lap top quickly immersed in the movies storyline.

"Can we talk about what happened in the park? Please? It's killing me." His eyes met mine as he let out a heavy sigh, letting them droop shut.

"I told you this morning that there's nothing to talk about." His voice sounded tired, as if I were a child he was explaining something to for the umpteenth time.

Something that felt like annoyance burned in the bit of my stomach spitting my words up for me. "Except something did happen! We kissed Newt, we need to talk about it."

I just wanted him to acknowledge that it happened, that it wasn't just a day dream.

Newt raised his arm to run his hand through his hair and the sleeve of his hoodie had fallen down revealing his wrist. And the lines painting it pink with fresh wounds.

"N-Newt what happened to y-your wrist?" I asked with concern lacing my words.

His eyes snapped up from staring at the floor to mine but dropped back down in a second. Guilt was painted on his face as clear as a picture.

"Did you do that because of what happened in the park? You can talk to me about it, I won't judge." I reached out my hand hand to grab his and comfort Newt.

I wanted to help him, because even though I had only known him for a couple of days, I knew there was something special about him, about the blush brought to my cheeks at the thought of him.

I never could have predicted what happened next. When my hand finally landed on Newt's he pulled away so fast as if I burned him.

He jumped up and towered over top of me and screamed in my face. "Do you want to know why I did it Thomas?"

I nodded, and refused to shrink away from his spit-flying rage.

"I did it because of you! You and how disgusting you are. Did you honestly think I'd like you back? That I'd become your boyfriend or something?" He shook his head as a sadistic smile replaced his light hearted grin from earlier.

"You disgust me really. You know why? Because you're a twisted, disgusting faggot Thomas. I slit my wrists to remind myself not to become like you."

His face was completely red, taken over by anger.

My eyes were brimming with tears and I couldn't stop it when what he said next sent them over the edge.

"You disgust me Thomas O'Brien. Now get your faggot ass out of my room and never speak to my again."