promises • cato the hunger games

Eleven

"Take deep breaths," whispers Cato again. I nod weakly as we stand in line behind Glimmer and Marvel.

I'm wearing a floor length dress, the exact shade of sky blue as my eyes. I'll be honest, it's the most beautiful I've ever felt. Cato's wearing a blue suit, weirdly nearly the same colour as my dress. He's talking to me to try and calm me down, but it's not really working.

"What's that dress made out of?" he says, pointing to Glimmer, who's wearing this weird transparent pink thing. "Plastic?"

I smile. "I guess she's sticking to what's she's made of."

I must of spoken a bit too loud, because she turns round and glares at me. Oops.

Thankfully, a Capitol TV woman comes and ushers Glimmer away. The realisation that I'm after Marvel hits me. I grab Cato's hand.

"What happened to not wanting to get too attached?" he says, and even though I can't see his face, I know he's smirking. I can't focus on thinking of a witty comeback, and anyway, though I don't like to admit it, I think I kind of need him right now.

We stand in silence and watch Glimmer's interview. To be honest, she makes herself look like a bit of a slut. All in all, her interview goes quite well (to my utter dismay), though she does come across as a bit fake. She still gets a good applause. Marvel's interview goes okay too, he gets the audience laughing and clapping most of the way through.

Their interviews are over all too soon, and the woman comes back to usher me to stage. I freeze.

"Penny it's okay," says Cato gently.

I shake my head. No it's not.

The Capitol woman takes hold of my arm and starts to lead me down the corridor. I look back at Cato. He mouths, "It'll be fine," again, before the corridor takes a sharp turn and I lose sight of him.

I can hear the crowd roaring. It gets louder and louder the closer we get. She drags me to the side of the stage. "Walk out when he calls your name," she says, and leaves me standing alone, wondering if I'm going to pass out.

I try to control my breathing, like Cato said, but fail so epically it feels like my lungs are going to collapse. Someone gives me a hard push from behind and I guess this means I have to go on now. I'm blinded by hot white light as I stumble across the stage, horribly aware the whole nation is now watching me.

Caesar says something that I don't hear (my ears seem to have stopped working), and I take this as a cue to sit down.

I stare at the audience. I wonder what they're thinking. I'm pretty sure most of them aren't paying as much attention to me as they did Marvel and Glimmer. But that's a good thing. I bet they can all tell how nervous I am too.

"Penelope?"

"S-Sorry?" I ask, snapping out of my trance. The audience laugh. I want to cry.

"I said how d'you like the Capitol so far?" laughs Caesar.

This was the question Violetta was practising with me. I really wish I'd tried harder now.

"Well," I start, my mind working overtime. I don't want to outright lie and say that it's amazing, cause it's not. They know I really don't want to be here anyway.

"Er, it's nice," I say, finding my voice has reached the tone of a mouse. The audience just laugh at me. I have visions of Violetta collapsing.

"Just nice?" asks Caesar. "Is that all?"

"It's very different from back home. It's a bit overwhelming," I manage to get out.

He smiles. "Yes, I think it can have that sort of effect the first time you see it. I'm guessing you miss home? You certainly seemed emotional at the reaping. Would you like to tell us about it?"

I'd rather not, but I can see that's not really an option. "W-well, my parents both died, and it was just me and my baby sister," I say, not wanting to go into too much detail. "We're far from being the richest people in Two, and it's always been hard. But I promised my parents I would look after her, and I have up until now, even if it meant I went hungry. B-but now I'm in the games and she's in an orphanage, and I know I'll probably never see her again. She's all I've got and n-now I've lost her."

There's silence for a few seconds, followed by lots of "Awws" and clapping. I hadn't meant to say that much, and now I'm on the verge of tears. I can't cry in front of the whole nation. I can't make myself look even weaker.

Caesar doesn't look sure of what to say next, so I stare at the floor, willing the tears not to spill.

"Well, you win this thing, and you'll get her back, and you can have a better life for her," he says.

"Maybe..."

"You earned a pretty decent seven from the Gamemakers, so you've got every chance, right?" he says to the audience, making them cheer.

"I'm not getting my hopes up," I say. "I think it's clear who's going to win, and it's certainly not me."

There's utter silence. They're not used to people admitting that they know they won't win. People usually try and make themselves sound as good as possible, but I think that's pointless. They know who'll win and who won't.

Caesar doesn't say anything, so I decide to. I turn around so I'm looking directly at the camera.

"Rose, I know you're too young to understand me properly yet, but I'm hoping one day they'll show this to you. I just want to say I'm sorry I couldn't look after you better, and I'm sorry you ended up where you are. I'm sorry you're going to be on your own from now. I wish I could be there to watch you grow up, but I can't. But you need to remember that I'll always be looking out for you and so will Mum and Dad. Don't let anyone hold you back, you can do amazing things; just don't let them control you like they control everyone else. Stay strong. For me."

The audience just stare at me, but I don't care. The buzzer goes off and I stand up to leave.

"Penelope Smith," says Caesar, not as enthusiastic as he usually is. There's minimal applause, and the audience look half confused, half shocked. I'm not bothered anymore.

I walk off stage as fast as I can manage in these heels. Cato's standing at the side of the stage waiting to go on, but I walk past him. I don't want him to see I'm upset, even though he knows I am, the whole nation does.