His Ghetto Flower

Truth

*Not Edited*

I closed my eyes not wanting to see Yuca's face, hoping that this will make it easier to tell him. I felt Yuca's body tense after I said Renee's name but he didn't reply back.

"Our mother's were like sisters so I grew up with Renee." I started to say. Deciding that the only way to talk about this was to start from the beginning. "He and his mother have been in my life since my first memory and we were so close that I called Renee's mom my second mother. Mona always told Renee that he needed to protect me and love me as if I was his sister and he did for the most part. He always played the part of the big brother I never had." I lowered my head and started to rub circles on my forehead trying to calm myself down.

I took a deep breath because I didn't want to cry. I always cry when I think about Mona. I missed her dearly and the fact that everything changed the day she died stays with me every day.

"When Mona was diagnosed with Cancer, she kept it from all of us until she had gotten so sick that she couldn't hide it anymore. We were all upset that she kept something so big fromus but at the end, we had to respect her wishes for refusal of treatment. By the time she was diagnosed the cancer had spread to multiple organs. The treatments would only make her sick and Mona didn't want her last days, however much she had left, feeling sick. She wanted to go naturally and at her home." Yuca started rubbing circles on my back but didn't say anything. I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts.

"Renee took off and only came by a handful of times to see her and he was clearly doing things to harm himself or as he said, to numb himself. When he showed up at the funeral high out of his mind, I was so mad at him that I followed him to his mom's house afterwards and found him shooting up more drugs. Before I knew it our argument escalated that he grabbed me and burned me on my back with his cigarette. I ran out of that house as fast as I could.

I looked up at the night sky. The sun had already set and it was dark. Sparkling lights in the sky twinkled at me. To my left the lights of the rides at the pier glowed with the reflection of the neon colors bouncing off the water.

"I was heartbroken that he had done that to me." I said flatly. "He was like my brother, he was supposed to protect me. Not to hurt me. I didn't say anything to my mom because I just wanted to forget about it." I closed my eyes again because I could feel my emotions starting to take over.

"Two weeks later he came to my house looking the worst I had ever seen him. I barely recognized him." I couldn't hold it in anymore and I felt a tear run down my cheek. "He begged for my forgiveness and cried in my arms. My heart broke again when he told me that he was alone and the one person who loved him was gone from this earth. I said it wasn't true and that I loved him. And I did. He was family to me.

"He was there for all of our holidays. Every birthday I've had and I was there for his. Every special occasion he and I, had we supported each other through the good and the bad. How could I not love him?" I wiped the tear from my face.

"He started trying to kiss me and grab on me. When I pulled away from him, he got angry at me." I went on. "Told me how, I just said I loved him and now I was pushing him away. He obviously thought I meant loved him like I wanted to be with him and that was not what I meant. When I explained that to him, he went crazy again. Saying all kinds of things that just didn't make sense. I cut my ankle trying to get away from him."

"I don't even know how or on what I cut it on." I let out a frustrated breath for my own stupidity. "He almost had me again when my mom and Ray showed up and he took off running. I had to tell my mom and Ray everything then."