My Tears

Chapter 16: Someone to Blame

Listen to song while reading.

Dylan's P.O.V

The days past excruciatingly slow. It was as if my life was on autopilot. I would wake up. Get up. Drive to school. Sit in class and stare at the white white walls of the classroom as the teachers droned on about the importance of their subject and how it would help us with our future careers. To be honest I didn't have the time to waste. All I ever thought about was her.

How I could have saved her.

How I wasn't fast enough.

How I didn't get there in time.

How me punching Brianna was pointless.

How she had disappeared just after I had met her.

How it was my fault.

I could've saved her.

Alana doesn't talk to me. She runs away from me and I don't blame her. I took away her only friend after all. It was my fault. All my fault.

I didn't think that my life would change so drastically by just one girl. A girl that I hadn't even known more than a month.

Maybe I was cursed.

I already missed her smiles.

Her laughter.

Her snide remarks.

Her face buried in books.

Her hair blowing with the wind under that tree where she sat, just reading. Talking with Alana and sleeping.

And yet all of that was gone within the span of 2 days.

2 days was all it took for me to get tired of my life.

Tired of missing her.

Tired of being without her.

And I'm not comprehending these feelings because its not like I was her boyfriend or anything. Well technically I was. A boy-friend. If she were here she would make it clear. Crystal clear. So clear that it would be painful.

"Remember your my boy space friend. Okay?"

I could just imagine her saying that, a smile playing at her lips, her hands resting on her hips.

She was just an important person to me.

I don't know how.

But she was.

I sighed, trudging out of my English class. We were studying classics and of course it had to be goddamn Pride and Prejudice. I was ready to rip my hair out.

I'm at breaking point.

My emotions are a mess.

I can't think properly because all I ever think about is her.

Freaking hell Sandy why are you making this so hard for me?!

And there I was again. Looking for someone to blame when in fact I should be blaming myself.

I am so damn tired.

I plonked down on the cafeteria seats. By myself. Always by myself now-a-days.

All my mates are complaining about how I don't spend time with them anymore. Well how could I when I just lost friend so dear to me? Without realising it she had become what I looked forward to seeing everyday. Dare I say it. She was like the reason I even attended school.