Wishes In The Dark - A Peterick Fanfiction

One

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This first chapter deals with the topics of abuse, depression, suicide and bullying and might be distressing for some readers. Warning you now, it might be triggering. Sorry for a depressing start to a story :')

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I am a dork.

I've been called a lot of things in my life, but I've been called a dork the most, and as a result I actually believe that I am a dork. Isn't a chubby kid with gingery-brown sideburns and a wide selection of caps meant to be a dork? I think so. That's what the bullies say, anyway. They make my school life a living misery. But I have no one to talk to about it.

My mother is sitting in an old peach-coloured armchair next to the couch I'm sitting on. She's reading the same old issue of Stylised Monthly, her favourite magazine. I swear she's read that issue about fifty times...

Kevin and Megan, my two older twin siblings, are talking in the kitchen. Probably discussing what's going to happen to me. I can't quite hear what they're saying, but I can hear their voices. Megan's boyfriend Tom is there too. This has nothing to do with him, but I guess he's just here to keep Megan company.

My mother's bungalow is such a depressing place. It's the house that held me, sheltered me, raised me and kept me warm at night, but it's also the never-ending abyss of depression and loneliness that haunted me for so many years. The floral wallpaper on the walls is peeling. The beige carpet is turning grey with dust. The peach-coloured sofa and armchairs neatly arranged around the TV are old and battered. But nothing in this little bungalow will ever change. Not any more.

The suspense is killing me. I need to know what's going to happen to me. I don't want to stay on my own with Mom anymore, but can I leave her? I just need some options...

Megan pokes her head round the kitchen door. "Patrick, could you come here, please?"

I stand up and start making my way across the room to the kitchen. I hear my mom make a weird noise - like a choke and a grunt at once. I ignore it and step into the kitchen. Megan closes the door behind me. In the kitchen stands my brother and sister, both with the same solemn expression on their faces, and Tom, who just looks confused.

"So Patrick," says Megan. "We've had a discussion, and we think you'd be better off living with one of us."

I don't know how to feel about this. I'm definitely shocked, but what should I say? Do I really have the heart to leave Mom? Or should I just do what's best for me? Is this really what's best for me? All these questions are buzzing in my head like a swarm of bees.

"Can someone please fill me in here," snaps Tom, sounding irritated. "What's the problem with Patrick staying here?"

You have no idea what's been going on, I think bitterly.

Megan sighs. "Patrick was born when Kevin and I were seven years old," she explains. "At that time, we were all living together under this roof as a happy family. But then, about six months after Patrick's birth, our dad decided that he couldn't handle being a father to three kids and keep a job as busy as his. So, he left. And he never came back."

Tom looks kind of apologetic. "He abandoned you?"

"Yes," says Megan. "Our mom was depressed. She'd lost the love of her life. A lot of shit happened with her. She'd slit her wrists, sit in her armchair reading the same old magazine, she'd cry herself to sleep at night, calling his name - she was killing herself. Slowly, painfully, killing herself. Then, one night..."

Megan looks at me and chokes up. Tom pulls her into a warm hug.

"It's okay, sweetie," he says soothingly. "It's okay."