My Best Friend's Dad - L.H

21

Before I knew it I was dancing on table tops and my shoes were gone. 

I was finally having fun. 

I was so caught up in my actions I didn't see Mathilda coming my direction.

"Milla! You came!" She shouted over the music. 

I just nodded my head, while moving my body to the beat. 

"Milla I need to talk to you!" She yelled. 

I shook my head no and kept dancing. I soon felt a hand clamp around my wrist and drag me down the table. 

"Nooooo I'm having fun" I whined but got pulled down anyways.

I was dragged in to a more quiet room and I came face to face with Mathilda. 

"Why have you been so sad and quiet lately?" She asked, it was obvious that she was worried about me, but I didn't need her worry, I didn't need her pity, I didn't need her sympathy. 

"You haven't been able to look me int the eye for a month!"

I didn't answer her, instead I just whined and tried to go out the room again and get another drink. 

"Milla answer me" She said in a calm voice, but soon realising it didn't work so she repeated it again but her voice in a yelling voice. 

"Because I can't look at you with out feeling guilty Mathilda!" I yelled back, finally giving into her. 

"what are you talking about?" She asked.

"Oh my god are you really that blind?" I slurred. 

She just looked at me with a puzzled face. I threw my hands in the air and confessed. 

"I slept with Luke" I said 

She furrowed her eyebrows but soon got the message. 

"Lu-Luke?" She said 

I nodded 

"Luke as in my father?" She questioned. 

I nodded again. 

Her hands flew up to her hair and she pulled the roots. "I- I can't believe this" she said, clearly very confused about the whole thing. 

"Why-Why?" She stuttered. 

Even at my drunken state I could tell that this isn't going to end well. 

"I love him" I said, the memories of him bringing tears to my eyes. 

"You love my father? A man who is double your age?" she looked me in the eyes. 

I didn't say anything, only nodded. 

"Its fucking illegal Milla!" she shouted 

I felt ashamed at this moment. I looked down at the floor, this was the reason I was avoiding her, so this exact thing wouldn't happen. 

"DON'T YOU THINK I FUCKING KNOW THAT!" I shouted. 

I had held my tears in for way to long but at this moment I couldn't any longer, I let go, I let go of everything. 

I fell to the ground. My knees made contact with the hard wood floor and hands covered my face, trying to stop the endless tears from streaming down my face. 

None of us said anything for a long time. The only sound in the room was my loud sobbing and thuds from the overwhelming, loud  music being played at this god forsaken party. 

"Why-why would you do it?" Mathilda stuttered out, breaking the silence.

"Did you want to hurt me? Did you think that it was a good idea?" she whispered, looking over at me. 

I raised my head so I could look at her. Look into her eyes, something I haven't done in weeks. 

"I don't know what I was thinking" I sniffled, wiping the tears, that had slowly stopped, away

"All I know is that I felt so loved when I was with him. I felt as if I was perfect. I felt as if we were meant to be together. I felt as if we were the only people on earth when I was with him." I said, trying to explain myself, but I was clearly not helping anything. 

"Why didn't you tell me?!" She raised her voice, but I could hear she wasn't furious, she was mad yeah but mostly just  sad and disappointed. 

"I couldn't" I whispered 

"Yes you fucking could Milla! But you didn't. There is a difference. You were too much of a fucking coward to tell me, thats why!" she yelled.

She was right. She was absolutely right. 

I was scared of what she was going to say, scared of what she would do, scared if she would look at Luke and I differently than before. 

"you are right" I said. 

"I'm so sorry" I started, "I'm so terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was scared of what you would think and by waiting to tell you I made everything worse." 

"When was the last time you saw him?" her voice was cold. All the emotion had drained out of her and she was talking almost in monotone. 

"A little over a month ago" I said, forcing myself up on my feet again, before sitting down on the bed that was in the middle of the room. 

"I can't believe that you would do this" She whispered to herself more than to me. 

"I thought we were friends" she raised her voice again "Fucking best friends! Does are friendship mean nothing to you?!" 

"No no no, of course it does, it means the world. But I thought if I told you that would ruin everything and the thought of loosing you hurt like hell, I'm so so so sorry Mathilda." 

She just shook her head in disbelief. 

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?" I whispered, looking up at her. 

"Maybe, maybe not but I need time" she said. 

I nodded my head. 

She opened the door and walked out. 

What have I done?

My best friend hates me, I can't see the love of my life and I am stuck in a house full of drunk teenagers. 

I stumbled out the door, the alcohol not affecting me as much as it did before the argument I had with Mathilda. 

I stumbled out the front door and into the front yard before passing some guys that had passed out and limping onto the pavement. 

My feet were sore and I could barely breath. 

My heart was beating a thousand miles an hour and I felt sick to my stomach. 

I looked around realising I had absolutely no idea where I was. 

But I felt so sick. 

I ran over to a bush and all the things that I and digested earlier spilled out of my mouth. 

Great. 

I was in the middle of nowhere, my feet sore, and i had just puked up my breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

Can life get any worse? 

As if that was a queue for something worse to happen. 

I see my mum pull in on the opposite side of the road. 

_____________________

NooOoooo0o0 

Milda is broken 

BFF goals I think not 

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-Fie <3