Okay, so James suggested I should do a one shot for 400k votes! Wow, so many! Thank you for voting for all my stories. So this one shot is dedicated to him.
I've always seen that you really like "A Hug From You" so I decided to write what happened before that one shot and this is it. It's sad, I know, but you know things get better already. Maybe one day I'll write what happens after "A Hug From You". Who knows?
Bel, xx
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She Left Me (prequel of "A Hug From You")
Louis Tomlinson
A soft beep rings in the air, slowly getting to me as I start to regain consciousness, taking notice of the big pain in my body that makes me groan, waves of agony running through my limbs. I open my eyes but the light is so bright I close them again, moving a bit and bringing more pain upon me. I hear someone approaching, frantic footsteps.
“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here,” a feminine voice says and I hear some rumbling next to me. “Here, this will help with the pain. Welcome back, Mr Tomlinson,” the same woman says.
I try to open my eyes again, more slowly this time, prepared for the brightness of the room and at the beginning everything is blurry and white, but things start to take shape and soon I can make the face of the nurse in front of me, smiling sweetly. I’ve never seen her before and I know she is a nurse just because of the uniform. Why am I in a hospital?
“Wh-what… happened?” I ask with a husky voice, my throat feels in flames.
“You’ve been unconscious for a few days, Mr Tomlinson. You had an accident. I’m sure you’ll remember everything immediately, so don’t panic if you don’t right now. Your friends are outside, I can let them in if you want,” she answers and I close my eyes, trying to make sense of what she says.
Accident? The last thing I remember is going to pick Scarlett up to go to the movies. I open my eyes and I see the light bulb right above my head, the light striking into my eyes and before I can say something, before I can open my eyes, the memories tackle me without compassion, without warning.
Scarlett and I were in the car, I was driving, the music was loud and we were singing along to a song of Grease. We were going to the movies to watch the last Sandra Bullock’s film, a promising one. I had been so busy lately with the band and rehearsals, that I was so happy I could spend a night with my girlfriend. We’ve been together for over two years and I loved her with all my heart.
It was winter, the streets were white with snow and I was driving very carefully, but not everyone is the same. I don’t know how it happened, I just know that we were waiting for the green light, so I leant in to kiss Scarlett when I heard the horn and I looked behind us. I saw the lights of a vehicle, then it was the impact.
I see everything in my mind again, the car flying and turning in the air, with us inside, screaming for dear life; the piercing sounds around us; then the pain, the horrible pain of my body colliding against the parts of the car and my hands, fighting to reach Scarlett. Then it was all black. The last thing I saw was Scarlett, my beautiful girlfriend, trying to reach me, too.
“Where’s Scarlett!?” I shout, my head hurting, my body protesting, my throat killing me, but I don’t care. I need to know what happened to Scarlett!
The nurse looks uncomfortable and the pain in my body is nothing compared to the panic that fills my veins in that moment.
The nurse doesn’t have time to reply when the door flies open and I see my best mates walking in, huge grins on their faces as they approach my bed, exclaiming how happy they are to see me awake, but I don’t care, I don’t care about anything but Scarlett right now.
“Where’s Scarlett!?” I demand one more time, staring at my mates, demanding them to tell me where’s my girlfriend. She has to be fine, she has to.
They look away, avoiding my gaze so I tense and I hear the machines next to me registering the change in my heartbeat.
I’m scared.
I’m terrified.
I don’t know what happened to her after the accident. I should’ve fought harder to stay awake, to protect her, to make sure she was fine. Where is she now?
“I’m so sorry,” Harry whispers and I feel cold, I feel like a real iceberg. “She… She– uh– She didn’t make it, Lou. She died before the ambulance got there.”
If I felt in pain before, nothing compares to the agony that those words bring. No, this is not happening, this is not real. Scarlett is fine, she is in another room, maybe still unconscious. I’m going to go there and see her and we’ll be fine.
But there’s a hole in my chest, a missing piece that has her name on it. Even if I don’t want to believe it, my heart feels it, it feels her absence already and I may be breathing right now, but I’m not alive. I’m not.
I turn my head, avoiding Harry’s eyes and I shut mine tightly, fighting the tears but I feel them, I feel them running down my cheeks as my chest aches with the truth I don’t want to accept.
“Scarlett,” I cry lowly, dying one, two, three times… dying and dying with each breath I take and that she does not.
I’m here. She is not. I survived. She didn’t. Why? Why am I still here while she is not? Why do I still breathe when she left before help arrived? This is not fair, this is not right. I shouldn’t be here either. I was in that car, with her. If she died there, I should’ve died, too. That was the right thing to happen! Not this!
I feel my body shaking, pain that only reminds me I’m alive tears me apart, more tears down my face and all I can see is her face, the memories of our time together. And that hurts even more than the physical pain I’m in.
“Scarlett,” I whine again and when I open my eyes I swear I can see her in the corner of the room, pleading me with her eyes, trying to reach me. “Scarlett!” I cry out, holding out my hand, trying to get to her as well. I see her mouthing something, but I can’t understand. I only see desperation in her eyes, pleading to something but I don’t know what.
I blink and when I open my eyes again, she is not there anymore. And I cry, I cry out in sheer agony, her name escaping my lips over and over again, bringing more and more pain to my body. I feel the lads’ hands on me, but I can’t stop.
No, no, no! She hasn’t left me! She can’t! She is still there somewhere, I feel her!
“SCARLETT!” I shout at the top of my lungs, crying desperately.
Scarlett left, but I stayed here. I have to keep living while she is not here anymore. How do I do that? How am I supposed to keep living when I don’t have her anymore? How am I supposed to go on when I know I won’t kiss her again, I won’t see her laughing, I won’t hug her never again. How? Please, someone tell me how.
I keep crying, sobbing and screaming but I guess they put something in my IV because I start to feel numb as I keep shouting and soon I can’t move anymore, I can’t feel anything and I fall asleep again, but even in my sleep, I keep crying for whom I lost, for the person I will never have again because she left me.
