nothing without your love

chapter 6

~Vic~

as i walk back i hear them talking. i listen closely. "wow what's up with you two?" i hear mike say. "you two are dating?" he continues. dating? who's dating who? "yeah, but don't tell vic yet, i don't want him to get upset" i then hear melany say. who is she dating? tony or jaime? she was really close with jaime the last night. "does jaime know?" mike then finally asks. it's tony. the love of my life is dating tony? how couldn't i see? how could i be that stupid? why didn't i see she didn't want me back?

how could i be such a fool? i wait some minutes till i go back in. i put up a happy face and open the door. "gooooodmorning!" i say and i smile. i glance over at melany who now sits at the sofa. the others are all in their bunk. "ready to get some breakfast?" i ask. everyone nods and gets dressed. we leave for breakfast. i look at melany and tony but they are not walking together. not even close. jaime and tony walk together and mike and melany. was it a mistake? did i heard something wrong? or do they avoid eachother because i'm around. that's when i saw itn tony glanced over at melany and when she looked back he winked. i'm driving myself crazy..

~melany~

we went out to get some breakfast. there will be another show tonight and i'm lookig forward to it. we need to drive to the other side of the city in an hour and set up everything and do a soundcheck. i hate that mike found out about me and tony. i trust him but i'm just afraid he'll say something to vic on accident. finally we are at a sandwish store and we all buy something. we eat it on our way back to the bus. vic didn't speak much for the last hour. it's like he's in deep thoughts. i won't bother him.

as we're back at the bus the driver already arrived. we all get in and leave. no one really talk on the way. it makes me feel unconfortable. tony and mike are watching starwars and jaime is on his phone. vic sits a little away from me. "so.." i start awkwardly. vic looks up. "yeah" he mumbles back. then grabs his phone and ignores me. that was awkward.. have i done something wrong? "what's wrong" i say softly. vic looks up and sights. "nothing" he says and looks down again. i sit next to him. "vic" i continue. "like i said melany, nothi-" before he ends his sentence i hug him. he doesn't react on it. "why won't you talk to me" i whisper as i let him go. i look at him ans he seems sad. "because i don't know what to do anymore" he finally says. he sights heavily. "what do you mean?" i ask him. "you don't want me back anymore do you?" he says after some minutes of silence. "vic.." i say desperate.. "oh god, it's true" he sights. "you really don't" he says and he looks sad and hopeless. "vic, it's.. i don't know. you left me without telling me a thing. and you explained me now. but now is too late. 'cause you left me broken for a year.. and i'm happy to be back, honestly. but i just think we could better stay friends now.." i admit. it hurts to say. vic looks down, then turns his back to me. "you don't want me back because of tony" he whispers. "vic how'd you-" i start but he cuts me off. "so it's true? you two are dating?" he hisses at me. "vic don't!" i whisper back in anger. "don't what? don't be angry? don't be hurt?" he whispers and turns around. his eyes are red. "vic, you dumped me. i can't help i'm in love with him. so what? you didn't want me! who are you to care? i thought we were okay!" i say, a little too loud. i stand up and walk with big steps to the other side of the bus and climb into mike's bunk. i'm so done with being nice to vic if he acts like a douche. i'm done with acting like i was okay all the time, though i was hurt. because i'm so deep in my own thought i didn't notice that tony was looking at me. "baby, are you okay,i heard.. you're conversation with vic" tony whispers. "yeah" i whisper back. but i'm not. i'm confused and i feel down because all of this. "were there" mike then shouts. the bus stops and tony falls back. i shock and look over at him. when i see he's laughing i start to laugh too. i jump out of mike's bunk and stand in front of him to help him up. "thanks" he says still laughing. "no problem" i say ans i giggle. he looks at me. "what?" i ask him shortly. "nothing" he says and he starts to blush. i look over at the other side of the bus and see everyone's out already. i look back to tony and pull hom closer to me. then i kiss him. i feel he smiles while we kiss and his hands move to my back slowly. after the kiss we walk out of the bus. just that moment vic walks back in. he bumps into tony. "watch your steps" he groans at him. tony looks amazed by vic's reaction. "well sorry man" he says and he then follows me. "he really is mad" tony says. we walk inside to set everything up. mike and jaime are already busy. "i've to shave before the show" mike says while going with his fingers over his chin. "you can do it now" jaime says. "i'll continue" he then says smiling. mike smiles back and then walks away. after some minutes he comes back. "has someone seen my razors?" he says anoyed. "nope" tony answers as he looks up. "maybe vic has sesn them, he's on the bus" i say. mike looks confused. "no he isn't" he says. i look at tony and he shrugs his shoulders. maybe he's just out for a walk again. "razors" mike says, still anoyed. "use mine" jaime says. mike smiles and walks away again.

After half an hour vic comes back.

"hey where have you been?" Tony asks concerned. "none of your business" vic snaps at him. "dick" tony whispers. but just a little too loud. "What?" vic says. Tony doesn't respond. "what did you say?" he says again, a little louder this time. "Dick, youre a dick victor" Tony snaps at him now. Vic comes closer. "Back off" tony warnes. but vic stays coming closer. "I said back off!" tony snaps. "tony, baby come over here please" i ask him. he looks at me and back at vic. then he walks up to me. vic walks away. he throws one last hating look at tony and then disapears.

some time has passed by and the show has started. vic thinks it sucks he can't play the quitar. but on stage it looks like they are all fine with eachother. like nothing happened today, nothing's wrong. After the show vic goes to the bus immediately. After some time we go there too. Vic is already tight asleep. His face is red from crying. I stroke the hair out of his face and look at him. he looks sad. "i'm sorry" i whisper as quiet as i can. I watch him some more minutes and then go to bed. i can't catch any sleep so i decide to take one of my sleeping pills. after that i fell asleep in some minutes.