nothing without your love

chapter 2

~Melany~

some days have gone by and i know this week they are in LA. i hate going outside now because i'm afraid to see them. but i really have to go to the store to get some food. i walk outside wearing a hoody while i pull my sleeves down and i make sure my face is covered as much as it can. my hair has grown really long and i dyed it red 2 months ago. probably they have already forgotten me but, you never know.. i just don't want them to reconize me. i walk into the store and make sure i have everything i need so i don't have to go back. i walk up to the cash and put the stuff on the pay desk. i pay and put it all in a bag to take it with me. as i want to walk outside i bump into someone. i drop my bag and everything falls out. "i'm so sorry" i hear a familiar voice say. i look up for a second while putting the things back in my bag. "Mel?" i hear jaime say. "melany, it's you isn't it?" he says again. i put the last thing back and pick up the bag. "i've to go" i say and i walk away but jaime follows me. "melany don't do this" he says. i stop and turn around. he walks up to me and hugs me. i can't help myself but cry. jaime holds me tight and just whispers in my ear that's it's okay. but it's not. it's not okay. i'm not okay. "can i come over to your place i really want to talk" he says as we start to walk again. i whipe away my tears and nod. "yeah that's okay" i say and i grab his hand. he holds it and looks at me. "i missed you puppy" he says and he smiles and sticks out his tounge. i laugh and my eyes water again. "hey puppy don't you dare to start to cry again!" jaime says as he looks at me and he pinches my hand. "i'm sorry i just, i jusy realize how much i missed you, and the others and.." i start but i don't want to speak out his name. "vic?" jaime brings out softly. "yeah vic" i whisper. and tears start to stream down my cheecks again. we're at my house and i open the door and we walk in. "still living in the same house i see" jaime chuckles. "yup, nothing changed" i say as i make us some coffee. "i see" he says as he sits down. "oh" i hear him say. i turn around and see he's holding a picture of me and vic on the top of the eifel tower. "i couldn't get myself to throw it away" i say as i take it out of his hands. i look at it and then put it back where it was standing. "i really missed you Melany" jaime says as i hand over the coffee and sit next to him. "you don't even realize" he continues. "i just lost one of my best friends and i couldn't forget about you Mel" he says. i look down. it hurts. but also feels right to know that he missed me and didn't forget me. "you don't realize how broken i've been since i lost him, since i lost all of you. and i'd never understand why" i say and with the last words i start to cry again. jaime pulls me closer and starts to sniff too. and like that we sit there for a while. both crying. i never saw jaime cry. so it hurts me even more. "i'm sorry" jaime says with a raspy voice. "for what?" i ask him. "for never calling or texting or visiting" he says while going trough his hair. i can see he really feels sorry. i hug him. we talk for a while about everything that happened the past 2 years. "you should go" i say after a while. i walk with him to the door and hug him one last time. "jaime" i say softly as he walks away. "yeah?" he says as he turns around. "i don't want to lose contact again" i say and i hand him over a piece of paper with my number. then i turn around and close the door.

~vic~

jaime is been away for a while now when i hear a knock on the tour bus. i open the door and i see jaime looking at me like he saw a ghost. "where's the stuff dude, you said you went to the store to get food and stuff" i say as he walks in. "i walked into someone" he says as he leans on the table with two hands. he seems upset. and not just upset like i saw him before. "who do you know in LA you could walk into?" i say but when i say it i realize it. "you didn't" i say now. "dude you didn't" i say. jaime turns around and nods. "how is she? how does she look? jaime" i ask him. jaime sits down and pets the couch next to him. i sit down. my jawn drops and my eyes water as i hear how terrible she is doing. how broken and alone she is. i start to hate myself. and with tears in my eyes i kick the table and i punch the wall with my fist. a pain shocks trough my hand and it bleeds but i don't care. i'm furious at myself. i cry and hit the wall one more time, softly, before i colapse to the ground. "i hate myself" i whisper and i start to cry. jaime knees down next to me and lays an arm around me. "dude, you had no choice back then, you couldn't know" he says. he helps me up. "we've to see a doctor, i'm almost positive you broke your hand dude" he says as he looks at my hand. i give him a little smile and we walk out of the bus, just when tony and mike walk back in. "be right back" jaime says as we walk away. we take the bus to the hospital and walk inside. "can i help you" a nurse says. i show her my hand. "oh boy, what have you done?" she says while she looks at my bloody hand. "come with me" she says and i follow her. jaime puts his thumbs up and i just smile back. but my head is still a mess. i now want to see Melany. i need to talk to her. the nurse looks at my hand and they make an X-ray. it's broken so now i have a cast for the next 6 weeks. i'm not allowed to play the guitar and that sucks. "take care" the doctor who helped me says as i walk out. "i will" i say and i walk up to jaime. "ah man this sucks!" he says as he sees my hand. "how long?" he continues as we walk out of the hospital. "six weeks man, six god damn weeks" i answer. "ah man, not cool" he answers again. we take the bus back to the closest place as were our tour bus is standing and walk back to it again.

"what happened to you?" tony asks. "broke my hand" i mumble. "dude how?" mike says and he pushes tony and jaime to the side. "i hit the wall out of anger" i answer. "oh, so that is the red shit on the wall?" tony laughs. "not fucking funny!" i snap at him and i grab his arm. "whow relax dude" mike says and he pulls me back. "dude come on, what's wrong with you? i was just kidding man" tony says and he shrugs his arm. i let got of it and i walk to my bunker. "forget it" i say and i lay down, with my back to the guys. "dude" mike tries but i ignore him. "let him man" jaime says and after that no one speaks anymore. i fall alseep and i wake up because of some voices. "he's upset because of melany" jaime says. "why, did they meet again, or what?" tony says. "nah, but.." jaime says now but he doesn't end his sentence because i turn around. they all look at me. feelig guilty about the conversation they had. they know it hurts to hear her name again. "but what? going to stop talking because i'm awake?" i say anoyed. "but i saw her" jaime says. tony and mike now look at him. jaime tells his story again. and we all sit there again. feeling all guilty because we left her alone for all those months. we all hoped she would be okay but she's broken. "i need to see her" tony says. "you? after all YOU need to see her?" i snap to him. he is the reason we broke up. he is the reason of all of this. "you make me sick!" i snap at him and i run outside. he didn't make me sick but i'm furious becaude of myself. i could go on but i thought it was better not to. i knew how close they were and i knew tony was in love with her. if i'd only trust her..