nothing without your love

chapter 3

~Melany~

after the talk with jaime i exctually feel a little better. i now know they all miss me and i know vic is hurt too. but i still don't know why he broke up. i missed how jaime always called me puppy, how mikey always called me butterfly and how tony used to call me his little turtle and how i used to call him mine. but i missed most how vic used to call me baby, sweety and sweetheart. and much more.. i miss him so much. should i call jaime so i can come over? do i even dare to see him again after a year of pain? a year of being alone? just at that moment an unknown number calls me. i pick up. "hi" i bring out softly. "hi Melany" i hear him say. this can't be.. he calls me. i don't answer. "are you still there?" i hear his soft voice say. "yeah" i say with a shaking voice. "i need to see you" he says. "why?" i say calm. "not why, when. and now" he says. "no i.." i start but he starts to speak again. "open your door" he says and he hangs up. i can't, i can't just walk to the door now and open it. i can't just see him and not cry. i can't just let him in and hear his voice in real. i just can't.. so i decide to not open it. i may feel guilty but i'm not ready for this. he rings the doorbell but i cover my ears. "go away" i whisper. he rings it again. "please go" i cry. "please go.."

~vic~

she doesn't open it. i call her on her phone again but she doesn't pick it up any more. i knew it wasn't smart to do this. why would she want to see me? i'd only just broke her heart into a thousand pieces and just left. why did i even try.. i don't feel like going back. we have our show tonight but i don't feel like playing. why should a play tonight? why should i go back to the bus? why should i even stay? i turn around and leave the house. i walk in a random direction. i just walk and walk. my mind is clear but a mess at the same time. i just walk, not knowing were to go..

~melany~

it's been some hours since he was standing in front of my door. i got some missed calls and messages from jaime. i decide to finally read them. 'puppy, is vic at yours?' no he isn't i think to myself. next.. 'darling Vic didn't come back, it's been two hours now please pick up" he didn't go back? where is he going then? there is one last text. "pick up!" just at that moment he calls. "Melany you've to tell me where he is!" i hear jaime say. "he was in front of my door today but he left" i say and i hang up. i check twitter and read tweets like: 'vic's missing!' and 'show can't go on' and much more. i shock. he really is missing.. i'm going to call him. i call the number back he called me with but he doesn't pick up. i put on my jacket and run outside. where did he go? where should i go? i just go left and start walking. and if things couldn't get any worse it starts to rain. i pull my hoody over my head and close my jacket a little higher. LA is big, vic could be anywere. but after a while i see the tourbus standing on a big parking lot. i knock the door softly and i hear someone run to the door. as it opens i hear a sight. "no fans" he says and he wants to close the door. i look up. straight into tony's eyes. he gasps and pulls me in the bus. we just look at eachother. "i'll get you some dry clothes i hear jaime say. but i still don't look up. i still look at tony. "h-how are you" he finally brings out. jaime comes back with one of tony's skinny jeans and one of his own shirts and a vest of mike. i chuckly and take them. i totally ignored tony. and i feel sorry for that. i kiss his cheeck and walk to the toilet to change. i pull out the wet clothes and pull on the dry one. i feel something in the pocket of tony's jeans and i take a little neckless out of it. it's the neckless i gave him 2 years ago. it has a little turtle on it. i smile and put it back. i walk out and hand my soaked clothes over to jaime who hangs them on one of the bunks. i sit down and tony sits next to me and hugs me awkwardly. i turn around to him and give him a good hug. he snuggles his head in my hair and holds me tight. "i missed you little turtle" he whispers. i cuckle and let go of him. "missed you too turtle" i answer. i see mike standing at his bunk. "mikey" i say softly with a little smile as i look at him. he then runs over at me and hugs me tight. i knew he missed me as much as the others. and so did i. "missed you" i say as he finally let me go. "too" he says shortly to not sounds like the others. i smile and he smiles back sweetly. "how are you" tony asks again. "i'm not going to lie, i'm worse as you could ever imagine" i bring out and i sight. i play with my sleeves but i keep them down. though it's warm in the bus. mike sees it and walks up to me. he pulls them up slowly. i close my eyes, i don't know why but i though it might help. that they couldn't see it if i didn't. but i hear them gasp and mike turns my arms around to see the other side. i pull my arms back and pull the sleeves down again. "Mel.." tony starts but just at that moment there's a knock on the door. without hessitating i stand up and walk to the door to open it. a soaked vic stands outside in the rain. and when he looks up he shocks. he wants to walk away again but i grab his shoulder and pull him back. he steps inside and i hug him tightly. at first he doesn't react on it but then he hugs me back and he starts to sniff. i feel tears rolling down my cheecks unstoppable and i let go of him. he looks at me with big, red eyes from crying and he still shocks so now and then. i smile trough my tears. somehow i'm happy to see him. it feels like we never broke up. it just feels like i didn't see him for a while. but when i remember he did broke up my smile fades away again.