Lovely Madness // h.s. au

7. You

                 

"You know I wanted to marry you right?" He said out of nowhere.

I choked on the food in my mouth and coughed it into a napkin. I took a long drink of orange juice before I made eye contact. He was smiling at my pain like the jackass he was.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I was so out of breath.

Not because my life almost ended due to that casserole, but because of the words he said. The way they so smoothly fell from his mouth like he had been rehearsing that line for the last four years.

"Last night, I got in bed and I couldn't sleep. I thought about everything you had said. How you didn't want me to leave you..." He said.

I almost blushed at that. Ew, I'm so gross when I'm emotional.

"When we went to Hollywood right after graduation, I remember there being a jewelry store at the casino we stayed in. You were doing something, shopping maybe, and I got bored so I just walked around. I went into that store for some reason and I saw this ring."

He stared down at his hand as he spoke. Fuck, I hated finding out things. He was making me feel more weird feelings every minute.

"It reminded me of the one my dad gave to my mom before they got divorced. For such a long time she was so happy. That ring made her so happy... Then she lost it. They got divorced and... Well that's that. But I always knew my parents loved each other. They just had some issues they couldn't resolve."

Relatable. I don't have enough fingers to count the number of times my mom and dad talked about divorce. It still hadn't happened yet though, they claimed to be doing it for Simone. I still think it's because neither of them can imagine sleeping alone at night.

"Seeing that ring made me realize something." He looked up, his green eyes fell to mine and I got the chills.

The look they gave scared me. I was terrified.

"I wanted to spend every moment of my life with you. I wanted there to be a long time where you were happy with me. I wanted there to be a long time where you could be happy with a family that would be ours. All I've ever wanted in life was what my parents had before they acted like children and split. I wanted you," his voice was calm and collected.

I tried to look that way on the outside but on the inside, I was screaming every vulgar word and phrase I could think of.

"I... I, um."

How the hell was I supposed to respond to that? Harry flashed that beautiful smile at me again and I wanted to burst.

"I just needed to get that off my chest. You don't need to say anything," he said.

He started to eat again and I sat there with my mouth open.

"When?" Was all I could sputter out.

He looked up at me with raised eyebrows. He set his fork down and scrubbed his hand over his chin.

"Not right then. But probably earlier than you would've liked. Never been a fan of long engagements," He shrugged.

"So... Give me an age. Like when would you have proposed?" I was so fucking curious already.

"Twenty one maybe?" He said.

Damn it. We were twenty-one last year. If life had worked the way he wanted, we could've been engaged by now. This is insane.

"And married?" I questioned.

He thought about it for a second.

"No more than a year and a half later," he replied.