Over Time

Chapter seven

The rest of the school day went by smoothly. I did my work, no one asked questions and I got things done. Over all I was proud of myself, proud of being able to get through the school day and do my work all the while socializing with my friends and peers like I once had.

I was on my way to my last class of the day, books in my hands and I was more than willing to just get it over with.

"Brook!" I heard someone holler from afar.

I glanced up from my book to see Miranda jogging her way towards me, pushing past tired and grumpy teenagers, a smile covering her elegant face.

Once she was only feet away from me she snatched my arm in her hands and tugged on it.

"You've got to see this!" she said, pulling me towards the direction of the destination.

I gave a confused look, trying to pull my arm away from hers. "I need to get to class, Miranda. I don't have time for one of your silly games"

She peered behind her, then gave a small smirk. "Trust me, you won't want to miss this"

She kept on pulling me and pulling me as I continued to get my arm away from her reach, but it was no use. She was stronger than I, no doubt.

I suddenly began to see what she wanted me to see. People were gathered around Andy's locker, a look on their face that was between sadness and happiness.

Miranda pushed her way through the gigantic crowd and made her way up front, to where his locker was located.

All along his locker I could see giant posters, balloons, unlit candles, teddy bears, a basketball signed goodbye by his team mates and a giant picture of him smiling at the camera. The same smile he had given me many times before when we had started dating two years ago.

I gave a small gasp of happiness, glad that I knew many people besides myself and his family loved him as dearly as we did.

I covered my mouth with my hands as the tears began to take over. People around me looked at me with sympathy and love, knowing what I must be going through. I even got a couple of pats on the back and an "It'll be okay."

I stood there for what seemed like hours, years and even decades. I watched as people came and gone from his locker area, each face holding the same emotion. I knew there was love in those eyes, especially from his own best friends that stopped by just to feel something real today, but...to me, those were not as real emotions as I was feeling in that moment, right then and there as I stood staring at his face. Eventually I fell to my knees at one point, giving up all hope of going to class. Instead I leaned my back against the lockers and gripped a bear in my hand, looking into it's lifeless eyes.

"It's okay to cry" I told myself "It'll be okay".

I hit my head gently on the lockers behind me as I gave in to the tears that kept on flowing from my eyes, creating a waterfall on my cheeks. I hid my face in between my knees, calming myself down as my eyes stayed shut, not wanting to open them or else they might remind me of where I was in this point in time.

"Ms. Foster?" I heard someone say.

I glanced up from my knees to see a very familiar face. It was Mr. Delk, the basketball coach of Andy. I recognized his old chubby looking face from all those years of basketball games and practices. Andy one time even invited me to have dinner with him and his coach. I remember we all spent that night talking. Mostly about scholarships for Andy but we got to know each other better.

"Hi Mr. Delk" I said gurgled, my eyes probably bloodshot from the tears.

He gulped, looking me over and over as though I was a puzzle to be figured out somehow.

He slowly took a seat beside me, crossing his legs and leaning against the lockers just like I had.

"What are you doing out of class?" he asked, his lips formed a thin line and his eyes looked over his black rimmed glasses.

I chuckled and shook my head "I can't go to class. I saw this..." I gestured to the gifts beside me, all of them meant for Andy in his passing.

He nodded, then looked off down the hallway. He sighed then looked back at me. "You know, Brook, I have something for you." he said.

I gave him a confused look. He had something for me? What exactly was there to give me? Especially from a teacher that wasn't even mine. I thought.

"I found it a while ago in the boys locker room. I always meant to give it to you but...I never really saw you around anymore. I would have given it to Andy but I didn't see much of him anymore either. Hard times at home and bad grades I guess. But now...is a better time than any." he explained. He reached behind him and lifted his body up just a little, pulling something out from his pocket. He held it in front of me and just stared at it.

It was a folded up paper, old, crumpled a bit and wet spots on it here and there. From the outside I could see outlines of writing. I gripped it in between my fingers and looked back up at Mr. Delk who just smiled and stood to his feet.

"I admire how strong you are, Brook. Not even I can be so strong, and I have muscles." he said. He smiled once more, patted me on the head playfully and continued to walk back down the hallway where he had come from.

I watched as he disappeared down the hallway and turned a corner. I turned my gaze back at the paper that was still held in between my fingers. I opened it up carefully until it was all the away unfolded, and that's when I realized it was a letter. A letter to me. I breathed in heavily as I read the note:

Dear Brook,

I'm sorry I'm not the perfect boyfriend, the best of a friend or anything that you have ever dreamed of. I apologize so deeply for all the pain that I have caused you in the past, all the tears that you have cried for me and all the times you lost your voice for yelling so loudly at me. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. All that I can do now is write these words to you that I have saved, not wanting you to hear them because of what you might think of me. So if you find that you hate me after I have poured my heart and soul on this paper, then don't bother to tell me you're leaving because it will kill me to hear you say goodbye. I love you more than anything in the world. You are my world, you're my love, my obsession, my dream. I love you deeper than the ocean, and bigger than heaven that lies up above. I hope that someday I will see you in a white wedding dress with a veil at a church. I hope I will live to see a day where you will say 'I do' as I do the same, then we can move on with our lives together. Buy a house by the ocean, a beautiful back yard, a beautiful dog and many mini you and me's. I know it's too early to think of such things, but I have dreams too, and that is one of them. So when I get on my knee sooner or later, I hope you'll say yes because you feel the same, because my life without you is like lyrics without a melody.

I love you more than anything on this planet and I'd give anything just too see you smile.

Happy Valentine's Day Brook.

Love you,

Andy

A tear dripped from my eye as I finished reading the letter he had written me so long ago, and I smiled. I just couldn't believe that he had actually thought I would be mad after hearing those words, or that it was nonsense to dream of a future that required us both. I dreamed of all the same things, just never said them, and now that he was gone I wished I had the chance to tell him. But he's gone. I smiled and sniffed the letter, breathing in the fumes of his faded cologne, the one he wore all the time. He knew it was my favorite.

After sitting there and smiling for quite some time I decided it was best to head to class before I was assigned detention. When I got there everyone gave me a sympathetic look but continued on with their work. I just sat down and got out my binder so I could finish up the day and go home.