Fracted (Book #2)

Chapter 26: It's Okay

I admit, of course--again, that I hate getting knocked out. Then someone wakes me up saying my name over and over again, trying to make it sound I could start over again and that everything and everyone has forgotten what happened. And Jackson would still be angry with me. But guess what? Nothing has changed.

After my predictions came true, I knew I had to say something. And it was not an ordinary statement. Well for some teenagers, yeah. But it seems unlikely if I have to say it.
"Eiffel," I called out to her, "I need to tell you something..."
"Sure." She sat down next to me on the bed.
The room wasn't ours. I haven't set foot inside it before. But it did look like it's a part of the hotel.
"Hold on a sec, where are we?--I forgot to ask when I woke up."
"Your mom's room. She's sleeping at the old girl's room with Sarra and Alice. Well...Robert, Zach, and Ace are sleeping there also."
"It's like they're avoiding me..." I whispered to myself.
"So that thing you were gonna say? What was it?"
Here it goes, I say to myself. You better not ruin things or else will get worse than usual. The words seemed to have choked me inside. But I pushed myself to the point where I wanted to shout.
"I wanna leave," I said with slight curt. "Let's get out of this place."
"Okay. I'll just get my sweater and--"
"No, no, no, no. That's not what I meant by "leaving". It's a different kind."
"What are you trying to say?"
I struggle to fix my words and put them in order. The moment was similar to putting a 100-piece jigsaw together.
"I hate...everything."
"Oh, the sob stories are back!" she said sarcastically.
"I just don't like this environment--the ones I love are getting hurt because of me. I can't risk a friend dying."
"Jackson told me the same thing."
"Jackson talked to you?"
"Yeah, I told you he doesn't hate me. He just doesn't like it when I'm around. It's a huge difference, trust me."
"What'd he say to you?"
"He told me about his friend that died. I can sense that he doesn't want the same thing to happen to you. I know he's mad, but that won't last forever."
All my thoughts turned into a pretzel of confusion and second thoughts. It hurt all of a sudden. My head felt flushed.
"You got a lot to think about." Eiffel held my hand and walked away. She looked back, like she was trying to say more.

I stood up from the bed at dawn. Eiffel slept on the second bed that looked untouched. I blocked the terrace with a big, bronze curtain, expecting some unexpected company. I can't survive with all this paranoia building up inside.
I looked for my backpack, but it was nowhere to be found. My room, I thought horrifyingly. I didn't want to go there, I swear. I kept swinging and jumped back on the bed. I dig through the blankets, pillows, and bedsheet, nothing. The springs under the bed kept on squeaking so I just looked under. Nothing! All nothing!
"Looking for this?" A voice abrupted out of nowhere.
I looked up and it was Eiffel.
"I thought you were asleep!" I said loudly.
"I'm kind of an artist--see what I did with the pillows under the blankets? Looked like a real person, huh?" I groaned in frustration, even though she didn't say the rest of what she's gonna say.
"I guess so." I said, creeped out a little. "So what do you need your bag for? Planning to escape?"
"No--why are the others sleeping at the same room as Jackson's?" I tried to change the subject, but failed.
"Because they think it would reduce conflict--here's your bag." She tossed the heavy backpack to me.
"Why's it heavy?" I asked, tossing it from hand to hand.
"'Cause I packed it."
"Why?"
"I had a feeling you'd rather sacrifice your life rather than losing the ones you love. No matter how much their hatred grows."
"Well that's a strong feelin' you got there." I tried not to stay on topic.
"You're changing the subject!" She yelled while awkwardly smiling.
"I'm not leaving." I said.
Did I just lie to myself?
"Of course you are, stupid."
"Stupid? Don't you even dare!" I laughed and pointed.
"You don't even know where to go."
"Of course I do." I said confidently.
"Those are never good words."
"I'm going to...find him."
"Please don't say your dad." Eiffel sounded so hopeless.
"Too bad, Eiffel," I stood back up and walked over to her. "I have to find him. I need someone else new to love me."
"Why? Because you think the pattern would change? You think he'd do the same for you? I don't think so!" I drop my bag clenched and my hands around her arms and I stared at her, my forehead on the top of her head.
"Don't you ever--" I sounded angry and clenched tighter.
"Ever what? Your life is just a lousy a pattern. And it's inevitable. You're afraid, Jess. You're scared."
"I'm not scared!" I shouted as loud as I can.
I pushed her up against the wall near the bathroom. I knew it wasn't right to hurt a girl. But what choice did I have?
"Never call...me a...coward." My voice trembled as I spoke and I held back a few tears. A couple just drifted.
"It's okay, Jess, it's okay..."
She laced her fingers on the back of my head, tousling my hair.
"It's okay to be scared." Eiffel said with sympathy.
"But I can't. I have to be brave--I-I have to be...strong."
"And who told you that? It sure wasn't your dad."
"J-Jackson." I stuttered like it didn't feel right. The name was in vain.
"And was that boy strong?"
"He was."
"Yeah...was--It's because he can't accept someone like you. You're special."
"How would you know that?" My tears dried up quick.
"I just despise stating the obvious."
"You know we're too young for this sort of thing right?"
"What? What is?"
"Let me just say...I really, really like you, Eiffel."
"Same." A wide smile has swept across her face.

"So what happened to Jason?" I asked.
"He's in Jackson's room." she answered.
"How's he?"
"Still unconscious. We have to find a way to wake him up again."
"Hey, um, where's the syringe?"
"I kept it somewhere safe."
"Where?"
"The tiniest pocket inside your backpack."
"That's where I keep my insulin syringes."
"I know--just in case André comes back and steals it."
"Why do you think he'd come back?"
"For you mostly but, I think he'd rather use Jason's power to make you sacrifice yourself."
"Good thinking," I said. "You have Seeker potential. Too bad no one's gonna teach you."
"Self-teaching?" I chuckled.
"But really, you have potential."
"Thank you--but what's your plan on waking Jason up?"