Fracted (Book #2)

Chapter 41: Hot And Cold

"You're avoiding him, are you?" I ask Benjamin in an interrogating manner. "I'm not," he scoffed. He couldn't look even look at me straight. "No one's avoiding anyone, Jess."
I picked up a small branch from the ashy ground and slid it across every tree I encountered while walking. I felt like a kid again, moving around for no reason. All the cringing and blanching just to get rid of the small amount of boredom.
Every step I take a small twig or branch snaps, so it would be dumb for us to talk about Hunter.
"It's weird how you're a terrible liar," I said to him. "I must've gotten that from you."
"And the Type 1 too."
"Oh yeah, that too."
He lifted up his shirt, revealing an insulet type of insulin pump on the part of his stomach that gathered the huge amount of fat.
"Nice," I smiled. "I would have had those, but I'm just too scared of that little needle inside me."
"Oh come on, I've seen you inject yourself doses of insulin with a large syringe, and you're afraid of a little needle?"
"It's just that it only takes a few seconds for the needle to be inside, for the insulet, it-it just stays with you for a whole day."
"The diabetic life is series of labyrinths," Proudly he said. "The smaller the zone is, the much more fun life is going to be. You want a happy life, right?"
"I guess so?"
"You guess so?"
"Okay, fine--I want to live extraordinarily!" I shouted from the trees, echoing throughout the woods.
"That's the spirit! Now, let's bond--haven't seen you in so many years."
"What about Hunter?"
"Yeah, what about him?"
"He's going to kill me."
"Not unless you tell him he's adopted, that'll end your life."
"You managed to calm your nerves down in a few days, can't you control Hunter?"
"Hunter's a lot more different than you."
"Yeah, no, seriously--Where'd you even find him?"
"An alley in Brooklyn."
"How'd you even end up here? Hunter just made your life miserable, ya know?"
"It's not him, it's me. I let go of everything so that I could find your brother. And maybe--Hunter's a part of my problem actually."
"Uncontrollable?"
"Yeah--Why are we even talking about this? It's very depressing." We laughed.
"Yeah, you're right," I chuckled. "Got any good news?"
"No more training."
"No more training?" The most exciting news in my life.
"No more training because I'm lifting the Innate-hunting rules. I can't wait to tell the whole island about it."
"Wait," I was about to ruin the good news. "why did you hunt Innates?" I ask him eventually.
"I wasn't planning on hunting for the whole race, just one Innate. My followers just took it too far. They think it's better to get rid of the entire kind instead of just the felon--But hey, I'm lifting the rules so don't worry. You're an optimist, right? Just like your old man?"
"Yeah."
We stopped by the riverbank after our twenty-minute walk. I sat down on the largest rock I found.
"So you wanna tell me the reason why you dragged me out here?"
I looked beyond the small body of water that stopped at the other side by only hundreds of feet at the tiny area where most of the trees didn't look like trees anymore. More like skeletal hands if you look in another angle.
"I mean, not that I'm complaining it's just that--" When I turn behind me, he wasn't there anymore.
"Benjamin?" I called. "Benjamin!" I shouted. Nothing, just the trees in a dying state. Leaves fall off, and the brown trunks looked similar to dark chocolate. I pry my eyes from the cemetery trees.
"Slow down, little boy!" Benjamin finally responded. "You needn't to panic--I have a surprise for you that's why."
"You expect me to climb?"
Judging by how high the branch he's standing on and how far the tree is, I felt like giving up. We just walked for twenty-five minutes and you ask me to climb a tree? I just look at Benjamin stare down at the trees below him, waiting.
"Okay, fine!" I groaned.
It's like pulling a three-hundred-pound bull up a hill. I don't even eat much, how did I get so heavy? It's like fifty lightyears can't contain me. The scabs on my knuckles dried up and sweat trickled down my nose.
"Am I close enough?" I ask in a raspy voice.
"Just a few more pulls and you're on the very top," He shouted from above. Looking up won't help, it'll just make things harder for me.
"Jess, you need to gain muscle, that's not enough what you have right now."
"Who asked you?"
"Just sayin', you have to be strong--what if André unexpectedly comes back and pins you down, how would you escape."
"Hold on a sec, I just need to climb a little bit more. I'll answer your question in a moment." Just a few more. A few more.
When I pulled the very last branch, I answered him patiently. "If he holds me down by my neck, I will swipe my arm down his hands and push 'em down. Then, I elbow his jaw, kick his calf, and deliver a blow right beside his eye."
"How'd you know all this stuff?" He said in a surprised tone. I felt proud of myself.
"I had good friends who helped me in the academy."
I said had good friends, what are my friends now? Replacements? I hope not.
"What about the stuff that André taught you?" I'm surprised he knew André became an instructor after he left. "Were they useful at some point?" "I guess so...kind of...mostly, I don't really know."
"That's why you should be careful of what you think, know, and feel...because strength doesn't come from here," He points to his brain. "it comes from here." He pointed to his heart.
"If you have a bad heart, I don't know what's gonna happen to you. You might as well hurt yourself instead of hurting the ones around you."
Could this be any more ironic? I left because I wanted to, not mainly because of my old friends' safety. So that's it--I've been inflicting pain to myself all this time. I couldn't help but frown.
Benjamin looks at me as my head slowly bows down.
"You're hurting...why? Has distress taken over you? Or did it just drizzle upon you?"
"Just a shower," I sniffled. "I just realized that I've been only hurting myself because I'm too caught up with my own desires. How do I--?"
"Change?" Benjamin continued for me. "Yes, there is such thing as change, and I have a remedy for ailing heart."
"Ailing heart? I'm still strong inside, you know."
"That's just pain reacting to whatever's happening there." He taps my chest twice, to my heart. "Confess something to me, son." That word enlightens me.
I pulled out the syringe that contained insulin and stare at it for a while.
"I'm afraid. I'm scared I'm causing my own death. Everyone else's death. I can never have any of my loved ones die because of me. I can't have that. That's why I hide...so I can be myself. But I'm completely lost and can't find myself."
"Tell me, Jess, where are you right now?"
"On top of a tree with my father I haven't seen since I was a toddler."
"No, that's wrong. Think harder."
"On an island far, far away from everything that chased me before."
"Look deeper."
And I soon figured out what to say.
"I am...I am inside my own fracted comfort zone."
"There it is. Now you know what's hurting you--you just try too hard that's why. I mean, it's right infront of you so just do your thing next time."
I'm proud that he's my father. I needed someone like him and he was just right there this whole time. If that link were always this close, I bet I have a chance of finding my brother sooner.
"I thought I said we're here to bond," He chuckled. "Then how come when we always talk, one of us ends up crying? Please tell me you're not an emotional person."
"I sometimes can be emotional but, you're here now so I have nothing to emote about."
"That's...just, even more depressing. Would you stop?" He laughs at me. "I'm trying to give you something very valuable, don't ruin it for your sake."
"What is it then?" I ask desperately.
"Close your eyes first," He said.
"Aw, come on just put it in my hand and get this over with."
"I said close your eyes."
"Fine," I sighed.
"Listen to your surroundings--don't focus too much on my voice--and remain calm. Hold on, okay? Don't speak, clear your mind." His voice is calming, more calming than the sounds of the water flowing through the river.
I allowed my legs to dangle over the thick branch, both of my hands on my sides and my back slightly arched. Benjamin twists to my direction and clasps his hand around the top of my head. His skin feels warm like a melting marshmallow. I have no idea why he's doing this, but I consistently agree with his unknown motives.
He pulls my head abruptly backwards, my neck cracking in every way he rotates it side to side. I could feel the blood from my nose travel throughout my head and flow into my brain. My lower body felt like collapsing, but my torso's tensed with heat. It's not like the type of heat that you feel when you're having a really bad fever, but the one that feels like your bones are made of dried ice getting melted up by a scorching metal.
"Here it goes," Benjamin said. "It's going in."
He's got mystical hands that transferred something inconspicuous inside my head. Like multiple little pinpricks puncturing my temple. What has he done? Do I make it? I didn't realize my screams filling up the riverbank. The veins of my heart tighten and dry up. The ones on my brain popped a couple times, but it was painless, like bubble wrap exploding with no one squeezing it.
My head cools down instantly. He lets go of my head slowly, and I gently slip onto his shoulder. I passed out after my dad performed some kind of witchcraft on my head. Though deep inside I felt a certain power possessing my body.