Smoker's Fix

Sunshine

You woke up with the sun almost burning your eyes. You cringed at the light and turned to your side to see him. Goddamn it. You looked at his features and said to yourself:

'How much more can I take of this? This is killing me inside...'

He was attractive. Very much so. Everything about his exterior was just breath taking but on the inside you knew he was a greedy, conceited, manipulative jerk. You had tried so hard to let him go but the way he speaks and the way he makes you feel was enough for you to give him another chance...for the millionth time.

You turned and got out of bed and picked up your jeans and shirt from the floor. Grabbing your purse, you left his apartment. Vowing to yourself once again to never go back there. This was an infinite loop. You groaned to yourself and went to the nearest drug store. Buying yourself a toasted bagel with butter and a pack of cigarettes, you walked yourself home.

Eating your bagel, you went to your apartment building. Locking the door behind you, you put down your purse and cigarettes on your counter and went to take a shower and other bathroom duties. You got dressed and sat on your bed looking through your glass windows and balcony with tired eyes. Going to your kitchen you grabbed your phone out of your purse and the pack of cigarettes you had bought earlier. Going to the drawer beneath your counter top, you got your lighter. You went back to your bedroom with sluggish feet. You hooked up your phone to your speakers and started to play your favorite album to make you feel better. Opening your sliding door you looked out at the city below you and took a moment to think about everything that's happened. You slept with your ex boyfriend again, your best friend had died a few months ago due to a brain aneurysm, your job is getting more stressful now that you got promoted. Everything seemed shitty.

Lighting up a cigarette you took a long drag and breathed out feeling relaxed. You knew these would kill you. But for the moment you didn't care. You're 23 going on 24 in a couple of months and the fact that you've been smoking since you were 20 years old no longer bothers you. You have tried to quit and promised your parents and your best friend you would quit. But it's easier said than done.

Looking at the city below you, you cried to yourself silently.

'I have to get it together. My parents would want better. My best friend would want better. I want better!'

"You shouldn't cry. Things will get better"

Looking up surprised you turned to your right and saw a young boy about your age probably looking at you with a lollipop in his mouth from the balcony next door to yours.

"Who are you? Why do you care if I cry?" you asked, removing eye contact. You took a long drag from your cigarette and put it out on your ashtray.

"Well for one, I know that a girl shouldn't cry. Especially a girl like yourself." He responded casually and looking at the bustling city people below you both.

"What do you know about me? You don't even know my name." you asked annoyed. 'Why is he talking to me?'

"Not much. I know that you are a hard worker. I know that you lost your best friend. I know that you're far away from home. I know that-"

"Alright I get it!" You exclaimed before he could say anymore.

"I'm guessing I'm pretty loud over here." you said feeling your cheeks getting hotter by the second.

"You could say that. Especially when your so called boyfriend comes over. You guys seem to love to fight and makeup..." He asked still not looking at you.

"Yeah. I know. We've broken up too many times that we just don't have a name for ourselves..." You said glumly.

"I see that. Have you tried blocking him on everything and avoiding him at all costs?" He finally turned to you with a straight face that softened when he saw your eyes red and tears streaks on your face.

"I've tried a lot of things but can't seem to get him out of my mind and life. It's just a relapse." You looked at your cigarettes with a wanting feeling.

"Don't. I bet you you want to quit that too huh?" He looked at you looking at your cigarettes. "May I?" he held out his hand across the little gap between you both. You looked at him and turned to get the cigarettes, picking them up from your little table you had out there, you turned back and put them in his hand. The second you did so he turned his hand to the side and the cigarettes slid out of his hand and feel down into the bushes, 15 floors below you.

"I could always buy another pack." You said looking at him with disbelief.

"I know. But do you really want to keep smoking?" he asked with a sly grin.

"No..." you responded slowly.

"I want to help you...with everything." he said suddenly.

"You don't have to help me. I'll be fine." you said sharply. He barely knows you and he wants to help you?

"Listen, you can't do everything on your own. You need help with things. I know you do. Tell you what, 6 months of me helping you. If it doesn't work then I'll leave you alone. If it works...well we will see where that leads us when the time comes. Okay?" He held his hand out for you to shake to make a deal. Hesitating you reached out your hand and shook his, thinking to yourself:

'I just made a deal with The Devil.'

"By the way, my name is Namjoon." He smiled at you after shaking your hand, snapping you out of your thoughts. Letting go, he turned to walk away. "We start tomorrow, Sunshine. So be prepared. Have a nice day." He waved to you went back into his apartment, shutting the door. You took a moment to think about what just happened and then you realized...The sun looks so beautiful today.