physical therapy// discontinued

0.4

"nothing like the rain, when you're in outer space." -5 seconds of summer, outer space/carry on

guilt was a strange phenomenon.

it was an almost limitlessly applicable term; ranging from stealing jimmy's twinkie in second grade, to say, killing a person.

and apparently, luke had reached the border.

"how does one forget the fact that i killed someone."

the earth shattering words that spilled from the broken boy's mouth should have driven me away, but instead i found myself being pulled in.

"luke? calum?"

what the fuck are you doing.

i tried to look as innocent as possible as i rounded the corner of the house, stepping into the moonlight mixed with the harsh glow of a nearby streetlamp. calum looked up in surprise and plastered on strained smile.

"hi again, bea."

i crouched down to his position on the dry winter grass and cast an apprehensive glance at luke. "drunk?"

calum winced and shrugged, "yeah i guess you could say that."

luke groaned and doubled over, his face lolling into the crook of calum's neck. his face was red and blotchy from exhaustion and crying, and his blond hair matted to his head with dried sweat and beer haze. i felt a stab of sympathy for both of them; luke for his drunk guilt, and calum for having to deal with a pale, lanky body draped over his shoulders.

"he needs to go home," calum sighed and i could sense the vague pleading laced in his tone, "but i can't just leave my house while there's a party going on."

i hadn't even realized that this was calum's party. another stab of sympathy pinched my insides.

i bit my lip hard, as i studied luke's state and calum's stressed features.

god dammit.

"i can give him a ride home."

what the fuck are you doing?

*********************************************************************

it took thirty minutes to manage to convince casey that i would return her car free of explosions and cracked windows before she managed to hesitantly pass her jingling car keys to me. it took another forty-five to politely shove luke's drunk ass in the passenger side of the car, wave off calum's extensive 'thank you's', and plug in driving directions to luke's apartment. i resisted the urge to rub at my tired eyes and smudge my eyeliner as we drove through the darkened streets and the clock inched closer to midnight. luke stayed silent, his head slumped against the cold glass window, his glazed eyes staring straight ahead. it wasn't until i almost ran a red light and had to violently slam on the brakes, when luke let out a yelp of surprise and flashed me a red-rimmed glare. "what the fuck?"

but i wasn't paying attention to his slurred curses and watery glares, i was too busy trying to slow the aching pound of my heart hammering away in my chest.

this was a bad idea

i broke into a cold sweat, my hands struggling to keep a firm grip on the steering wheel, as i felt a bolt of suppressed anxiety weigh down my chest.

slick streets and the screech of tires against pavement. shattered glass and the crunch of an engine. high pitched screams and mechanical parts bathed in red. and a limp body, already detached from the world, despite the pleas and cries of her sister.