Syd
I awoke in a panic. My body shaking as I lay drenched in sweat. "I gotta stop waking up like this." I mumbled to myself pushing the covers back and throwing my legs over the side of the bed.
I tugged at my grey boxer briefs before sliding into my slippers and heading for the shower. "Fucking gross yo!" I said aloud. Pulling the white wife beater that clang to my thin body swiftly over my head. Exposing my braless chest.
I ran my hands over my face unimpressed with the dark circles that sat underneath my eyes. I looked like shit. All these sleepless nights were starting to catch up with me. What I wouldn't do for just one night of peaceful sleep. If only I could stop having this same damn dream.
I turned on the shower and headed to my room to find something to wear tonight. I wasn't due in till ten but what the hell. My plans to nap had just failed miserably yet again.
I opted for a pair of khaki pants, crisp white tee, and a pair of my signature black vans. I rubbed my hands through my hair and decided I better place a beanie out too since I was over due for a haircut. My fro hawk was looking more fro than hawk. I was going to make the shit look good either way doe.
I headed down the hall towards the bathroom once more.
BOOM!
In came Matt stumbling over his own two feet dragging some fake ass Selena Gomez wannabe behind him. "Matt! What the fuck bro?!" I yelled quickly throwing my arm across my chest in a weak attempt to cover my breast.
"Syd ... Syd Tha Kyd!!!" He slurred. loudly. "What kind of fucking name is that? Huh?" He chuckled amused with himself.
I frowned not seeing the humor in the situation. Matt was always doing this. He'd got out and get wasted. Drag some bimbo back to my spot and proceed to bang her.
I don't know what bothered me more. The fact that he brought all his action to my spot. Or the fact that without the action he brought my spot would see none.
"Matt! Yo!" I yelled gesturing towards the door he had left wide open exposing me to the world.
"Syd. Chill man. As if there's something to see. My tits are bigger than yours." He chuckled dragging himself over to the door and slamming it shut.
I stared at him for a moment before rolling my eyes and heading into the bathroom. Slamming the door behind me. "I love you Syd!" He yelled in the distance.
***
The club had a line wrapped around the corner. Mostly kids from my college who were looking for a weekend escape from the day to day struggles of a college student.
I walked in greeting the bouncers and heading over to the DJ booth to set up my equipment. I watched the stage area as Spoken Word night slowly came to a close. As soon as this crowd fizzled out in would poor the blackouts. That's what I called them because their only intentions were to get blackout drunk.
Nothing like this crowd. I actually enjoyed coming in early to hear the poetry. I admired the courage it took to come and get on stage and expose such a private and special part of yourself in a room filled with strangers. Something I had never found the courage to do myself.
But I can't lie. I really came just to see her. To hear her voice. Know her thoughts. And just for a moment become a part of her world. Even if only for a moment at a time.
I just wish she'd notice me ...
And as she had done plenty of nights before she took the stage. She was beautiful. Inside as well as out. I just wish she knew it. From her caramel skin to her soft pink lips. The way her natural hair danced on her shoulders as she swayed to the beat of the bongos. I just listened. I just watched.
Let me shake your hand
Let me meet this man
That I thought I knew
Tell me what's your name
Oh, It sounds the same
But then I look at you
It just couldn't be
Who I think I see
Right in front of me
NO
Well what about that voice
And the night you made that choice ...
Was that the real you? ...
Or maybe it was that night
When you did the opposite of right
Was that the real you too?
His eye look like yours ... Or is it the other way around
I look to them for reassurance ... but nothing's found ...
The music suddenly stopped. And a single tear fell from her eyes. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and reassure her of her worth. I knew exactly what she was going through. Not from personal experience but from word of mouth. Her boyfriend ... was a piece of shit.
I couldn't stop her from loving him. I knew better then that. But I also knew that one moment could change your life. And if she ever noticed me ... If I ever got my moment. She'd notice me ...
