Insane Hurricane

After

My head is heavy, my eyes ache when I open them and I smell dried blood. I remember everything that happened and crinkle my face in disgust, causing even more pain.

I turn over and see Matt at the other side of the bed, he's not asleep, I think he heard my winces. "You alright?"
I shake my head and walk to the en suite bathroom. I do feel like I'm going to be sick but that's a normal feeling now. I look in the mirror at my bruised face, still blood stains. I want to go back there and haunt them.

I sit on my hands on the counter as Matt wipes my cuts up.
"What happened?" I whisper, still in disbelief.

He sighs and then continues to touch my cuts, cupping my chin in one hand. "No,no I remember now. It's all good. But you had a knife? You always have a knife on you?"

"Better safe then sorry," he says softly, it's so weird hearing his voice so quiet and calm. "It's 5 am, by the way," he continues, "we can stay here if you want,"

"No, we're going in, I need to show that nothing they do can bring me down that far."  I say erasing negativity from my mind.

"Are you sure?"

I nod and smile. I 'borrow' his joy division T-shirt, the makeup covers the bruises.

~                              ~                                 ~

We go to my usual spot, right near the lockers. You can hear their footsteps from miles away, a corridor clears for them. The four of them stop at us and Joanna steps forward with a smug smirk on her face. She looks me up and down. "They did what I asked then, good. You're just lucky it was them and not me." She moves onto Matt,  "I don't believe us four have introduced ourselves, just so you know to pick the right friends here-"

Suddenly Matt softly pushes me against the locker and kisses me. I don't care if it's an act or not, I make the most of it. I can't help but smile into the kiss, the picture of their shocked little faces made me laugh. By the time Matt pulled away, the girls had left. "Did you mean that?" I say, still against the locker, breathing deeply.

"Yeah."
~ ~ ~
Period five. Everyone in my year was called to the main hall for speeches, there was people who will be looking those to accept into colleges. This is important. I sit at the back with Matt. Joanna is at the front, sitting upright and smiling. She's the first to give a speech.

"I think this school has done some amazing charity work, but I think the school needs to support something that is actually affecting people within the school, one of them sitting here actually. Anyway, the mental illness part of the hospital really needs some supporting. I'm sure Kathleen Rivers would agree, why don't you come up here and share you story? I'm sure everyone would love to hear."

I can't tell if she's being sarcastic. No one was meant to know, that I had depression and anxiety, to a point where I couldn't leave my house.

I know what to do

I go up the the front, and stand in front of all the faces in front of the microphone.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank Joanna, not only because of her truly motivational speech, but for making the job of telling people easier for me. No one was meant to know that. But that's fine, because it's true, but you should really donate because a little while ago, I was depressed, I was unhappy with life, I hated myself, I had anxiety. I couldn't leave my house. I think this is because a truly, nasty group of girls, sitting right here pushed me to that point. I'm sure you all know who they are. But, seriously, I'm still alive because of that hospital, I overcome my problems, so let's support those who are yet to."

I walk back with no shame, everyone now knows my dirty past. My future here is pretty much shattered. I do receive some claps on the way back to my seat. I just sit back down and ignore Matt's confused looks. But he manages to find my hand.

I dread the end of that assembly, I dread all the fake concerns and rejections from college because they don't want a mental case in their school.

When it finishes I head straight for the exit, but a woman steps in front of me.
"So what colleges have you considered? Because we would be honoured to have such a truly inspiration figure at our college." I smile and at her and reply bluntly. At the corner of my eye I see Joanna realising that her plan had failed. Game over bitch.

The days done, I walk out but then Matt finds me. We go down the alley, the same one where I got attacked. He stops and says "you know you can tell me anything right?"

"I think I do, I want you to feel the same way."

He kisses me. He kisses me where the sun doesn't shine, like there was no history here. Like nothing else really mattered, expect from him.

This isn't the end. I'm not satisfied yet. There is much more that must be done, I won't stop until I know that I put them in their places. The game isn't truly over.