Koolaid Stains

Icky

Nico woke up in Leo's arms. Usually, he wasn't a touchy feely kind of guy but he welcomed this. He was aware of the fact that Leo was still asleep and that anyone could come into the room but still he rested his head against Leo's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

On the list of strange things Nico had done without really thinking... this was about number 12. Nico looked up at Leo and decided he like him like this. Quiet... At ease. Of course, he'd never say that aloud. It was probably offensive; a lot of times, Nico couldn't tell if something was offensive or not so he just said nothing at all.

Leo shifted a bit and Nico's heart began to race. He realized he wasn't really ready to discuss why he was still in Leo's bed or what happened last night. He quickly shut his eyes and went limp, and prayed his eyes didn't twitch.

"I know you're faking... " Leo said in a hoarse voice.

Nico mentally cursed and slowly opened his eyes. "G—good morning," he mumbled in response. Nico sat up and stared expectantly at Leo. "Can we agree not to speak about this ever again?"

Leo seemed to be in thought for a second then nodded. "I guess that's a good idea," he said and laughed.

His voice was laced with sleep and Nico couldn't help but wish he could hear that more than once. But that was weird to think about... Leo of all people, right? Of course, he'd wondered what it would be like to wake up next to Percy but Leo—? Never.

Suddenly, Leo's expression turned serious and he wiped his eyes. "Are you... Okay?" He asked and put his hand on Nico's forearm gently to avoid touching any marred flesh; at first he reached for his shoulder but decided it was too far.

Nico stared at the hand on his arm and the angry and raw skin on them. His hands were no where near smooth but they were comforting... Maybe Nico just appreciated the intimacy of the gesture since he rarely received any kind of caring gestures from anyone but Jason or his sister. Regardless, he shrugged after not being able to think of an answer. How would he answer?

Oh, yes, I frequently cut my flesh open because I am angry with the world and generally dislike myself , but now that you yelled at me about it I'm perfectly okay.

For some, reason Nico didn't find the use of sarcasm appealing at the moment. Especially not to someone who had been eager to comfort him and keep his secret the night before.

"You can talk to me, Nico. Who am I gonna tell? Buford the Table?" Leo gave a small chuckle at his self deprecating joke then moved his hand away. "But seriously: I know that you've been through a lot and stuff gets... dark... Sometimes and it feels like there's no solution but trust me. Harming yourself isn't a solution either. If anything it adds to the problem," he said staring up at the ceiling. Last night, Leo couldn't possibly fathom a reason for Nico's self harm, but he pondered it all night even in dreams and had come to a conclusion.

"Have you done it before, Leo? You don't have to tell me but... I just want to know," Nico asked quietly and forced himself to make eye contact with the boy.

Leo responded with silence but met Nico's gaze. Nico got the message though: don't ask. Nico stared into his eyes for longer than he should've but he found it hard to look away.

The black-flecked deep brown of pecan shells in his irises apparently made Nico an idiot because every time he blinked he felt disappointed that he wasn't able to Leo's eyes. "Uh, fuck, um." He mumbled to himself and looked away, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

That was so weird... He thought and tried to shake himself out of it. It wasn't his fault though; Leo hit him like a 240 lb linebacker with this. He was so serious... Unlike usually. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not; although, it did make him feel like he was a bug under a microscope. And he hated that feeling.