Jake

12

To be honest i've had another bf but i've never told anyone about him. It was our secret. You know like a texting bf. He was sweet a dream. Exactly though, a made up character. He was sweet and made me feel special and pretty. But some people just like a laugh. I fell in love with a guy who won't waste a breath on me. He never wanted me. I thought he was my dream guy and I thought he felt the same. It hurt me. Right before my birthday too. It felt like my heart dropped to my stomach and it was trying to escape my body. Like my heart was hurt so bad it quit working. I didn't date anyone since, I didn't like being hurt. I was tough too full of confidence. But love? Love broke every piece of my heart and the person who broke it didn't even bother to pick them up. He called it pity dating. He was dating another girl and they looked at mine and his text and laughed. They called me ugly and a waste of time. But coming from someone who once called you beautiful and special and amazing. That is what hurt the most. But then Jake was there that day on the bus. When I didn't want to even live anymore and didn't want to get up. But Jake, he made me happy. Weird but so true. With him it was as if my heart, the same heart that shattered into a million pieces. It was finally being picked up and put back together. It's so cheesy but so true. He's the one I thank for me getting up in the morning. I been in depression. Attempted suicide even. I was rushed to the E.R. I cried when I knew I was alive. Not because I was happy. I was furious. I had nothing.I was bullied. I was already dead walking around in a body, with no feeling. I was numb. Jake, he was like a superhero. He was a superhero. My superhero. You would of never thought about me being depressed huh? That's the thing about depression. The person you never would of thought was, the person you never noticed. Ya they existed and you probably don't know their names. That's the problem with humans. They don't notice. Have you ever asked someone if their okay? Are you okay? No your not okay, and it's okay to not be okay.