Jake

Part 14

0 text. 0 calls. 0 e-mails. Is this the end? He's just gonna watch me walk away and not try to stop me? Did he love me anymore? Did he ever love me? Questions haunt my mind. I try to drown these demons in my mind. But I've come to know them too well. How could I feel horrible and he not feel a thing? If he walked away I'd chase him and apologize a million time, and still feel bad for what I'd done. But he watched me leave and walked the other way. He let me go. I don't understand how he could let me go like this. With no calls or text. Nothing. It doesn't make sense. I thought we had a perfect relationship. Did he not like it? Did I do something? Why can't he just talk to me and make my mind blank. Make the worry in my mind fade. All I want right now is for him to call. All I need is him to show he cared. To know he loves me. But he doesn't call. I waited for hours and fell asleep with watery eyes and a bed full of tears. This why I never had another boyfriend. Because I was so scared. I felt so weak to be this broken. To be let down. Now I'm a sad song. You know the ones about a broken heart, a broken soul. I always laughed at these songs. Until I felt I was living in one. The lyrics from my headphones are making their way in my head.

" When walk away, I count the steps you take. Do you see how much I need you right now. When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you. The face I came to know is missing too. When you're gone the words I need to hear to always make it through the day,and make it okay. I miss you."

-Here without you

"I didn't come here to cry, I didn't come here to break down, It's just a dream of mine coming to an end."

-Torn

" Don't speak cause I know what you're thinking I don't need no reason's don't tell me cause it hurts."

-Don't speak

"If I should die before I wake its cause you took my breathe away, Losing you is like living in a world with no air."

-Last to know

"I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain, Yes I would die for you baby. But you won't do the same."

- Grenade

"What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you, What am I suppose to say when I'm choked up and your okay, Im falling to pieces."

-Breakeven

" Lay a whisper on my pillow leave the winter in the ground. I wake up lonely there's air of silence. In the bedroom and all around."

-it must of been love

" I wasa heavy heart to carry my feet dragged across the ground and he took me to the river where he slowly let me drown"

-heavy in your arms

With every song I listen to, another part of my heart shattered.