Finding Paris(part 1)

Finding Paris

“Paris baby are you getting ready for bed?”

As the rain continued to come down hard all I could think about was getting under my warm covers with my fiancé.

“Paris did you hear me?”

“Baby shh…stop yelling she’s probably already asleep, come to bed.”

I was exhausted, finishing up the last bit of dishes and cleaning the living room while James finished the last of his work in the office. “Ok honey I’ll be up in a sec.” it’s been 20 min already and Paris has yet to answer me back, I was beginning to worry. I know she can be a little diva but she knows better to answer me when I call for her.

“Paris…” there was no answer.

I raced up the stairs and checked the bathroom where I left her, only to find my Paris wasn’t there. I snatched the shower curtain back in hopes I’d see her face ready to jump out at me like when we’d play hide and seek. “Paris mommy’s not playing anymore.”

I ran pass my bedroom to the guest room, nothing. “Baby girl…” I checked the guest bathroom, nothing. “My god…PARIS!!” I shouted. James rushed out of his office with fear all over his face.

“Baby what’s wrong?” He held me close by my neck, the look on his face made me brake down inside. I looked at him and saw my little girls pretty brown eyes.

“Her bedroom…” I hurried past James, my heart raced and skipped with every step I took. “I didn’t even check her room…Paris.”

“Leigh…Leigh!!”

Falling to my knees I gripped the edge of her covers and breathe in her smell. “PARIS!!!!” I cried. My baby is gone; someone took her that was my only guess when I saw her bedroom window open. I cried louder and held the covers tighter when I felt James touch, I felt as though I could die right now if I took one last breath realizing she wasn’t in my arms.

“Baby...where is…Paris?” I watched him pace up and down her room with so much anger, hurt, hate and disbelief. “WHERE IS SHE!!!!!!?” He stood in front of her closet breathing so heavy; I’ve never seen him so upset. I lay my head down and cried some more, letting it all out this time. Glass shattered over my head a little and to my feet. I looked up to see James hand covered in blood, he’d punch the glass that covered her closet door.

“Who would do such a thing…what fucking prick has my…” he choked over his words “…my baby girl.” Looking back at the mirror as if he could see the one who’d ran away with a piece of his heart. “SHE’S MINE YOU HEAR ME!!”

Watching him in so much pain crushed my heart, I stood on my bare feet winching at the pain of glass sticking me in my foot, and I didn’t care. No pain felt greater than not seeing my Paris. I held on to his arm mentally calming him down, he held me in his arms as tight as he could. His body was hot, his heart beat chased after mine, and I could no longer feel my face anymore. I wanted to die.

“Hey, hey look at me baby…we are going to find her ok.”

I looked at him with both disbelief and faith. I prayed he was telling the truth but I knew standing here wouldn’t solve anything. “Baby we need to call the cops right now…” I started to panic “Bring her back to me please James.”

He ran his hands through my hair trying his best to calm me down. “Shh please calm down, breathe, please stay calm or I will lose it too and that would just make things worse.”

I buried my face in arms inhaling in his scent, I slowly allowed myself to stay calm. “Listen I want you to go down stairs and…”

The sound of the doorbell ringing set off every alarm in my body. I was scared and searched for protection; I didn’t know what else to feel. We rushed down the steps nearly killing ourselves. The red and blue lights outside gave me hope that help was here, that someone had found my baby girl and could give her back to me, that all of this was some big mistake and she…

“Ma’am… there’s been an accident, I’d like to know if I can ask you a few questions.”

I stared at the cop, straight in his eyes not saying a word. Everything around me vanished, I felt cold and alone, my heart stopped beating, and my lips went numb. All I could see were the lights going round and around.

 I was mentally, physically and emotionally paralyzed.

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“Ok let’s go over this again.”

I stared into the eyes of the same police men and detectives me and my fiancé have been seeing for the past six months. I don’t see the point in me being here anymore, they refuse to give me details and names of suspects that could have taken my baby girl away from me, they always seem to want to keep me calm and clueless to what is going on. I’m so worried about James; he hasn’t been the same since that night Paris disappeared. Maybe we need to disappear, I wish I can just up and leave but the thought of them finding my daughter and we’re nowhere to be found kills me. Deep inside I started to give up and I could feel James was too.

“What more do I need to tell you, if anything we need the answers here you guys have done nothing differently than when we first came to you. There are so many girls out there that have been taken from their homes or even worse, did you even handle that or are you all just lingering around.”

“Ma’am we are doing the best we can.”

“You’re not doing a damn thing…you know what” I took a deep breath in and the moment I let it go I made up my mind. I was ready to leave, for good. I calmly told everyone in the room to have a good day, grabbed my thing and walked out. The tears fell to the sides of my face but I refused to let anyone see, I wanted to get out of there so bad I didn’t even wait for James to walk beside me, I already had the keys so I waited for him in the car. We drove off in silence holding hands, wasn’t sure what he was thinking but I could tell he’s had enough of the hurt and stress. Coming home even felt different than ever, the air felt damp and the emptiness in the house ran through me like none other. I was miserable.

James and I headed to our bed room without speaking to each other. I wanted to speak but I had nothing to say. After my long bath I lay in bed next to James feeling partially complete. “What happened to you today?” James murmured.

“I don’t know…I think I’m just tired, I’m not giving up on our baby girl but I’m just tired.”

“Tired of being tired…Let’s move.”

My eyes widen, I wanted to react differently but I didn’t know how. “Really?”

“Yeah I mean we’re both not happy here anymore, we can’t even walk around the house anymore without calling her name thinking she’s still here and to be honest I don’t like to see you this way, yes she’s our baby girl, our only baby girl which makes it hurt even more. I think space is all we need…just for a little while.”

“But what if they find her?”

“Then they have our numbers and we’ll give them our new information, but as far as staying here we might just die miserable. I love you and I want you to be happy.”

Two days, was all it took for us to move into our new home. It wasn’t exactly new because it was my grandmother’s old house up in the mountains in Little Big Town. I never really understood the name but I could see why it was called little big town. The houses were huge and so was the population but the town it’s self was quiet small. It rained a lot up here and the cold was normal around here. Having the weather close to 80 degrees is like Christmas to some people. It felt good to be some place different where I don’t have to drown in my own sadness all the time. I miss my baby girl and I pray every day she magically shows up. But then reality bites me in the ass all the time reminding me otherwise.

“Babe…I’m a little tired I think I’m gonna just lay down for a while.”

“You sure, you want me to come with you?”

I always loved his company but tonight I just wanted to be alone. “No it’s fine, I know you have work to finish up, love you.” I kissed him gently and headed up stairs. I lay in bed so relaxed with nothing on. The wind from the rain felt so good and the warmth from the covers felt amazing on my toes. “Happy Birthday Paris…mommy loves you and I wish you were here with me, I hope your safe…where ever you are…please come home.” Images of her flashed in my mind and before I knew it I was fast asleep.