Interesting and Emotional day is all I have to say.
In first period I finished my work and ten everyone went down to the assembly for JECA and had watched a video.
3 people- freshmen from JECA came to talk about the school.
One of those people was my friend Balome. We were friends last year. I always hung around the guys. They were my friends. Kyler, James, Marthiew, Aiden, and Balome.
At first I forgot of how I knew him. I knew that I knew him though. He was so familiar.
After the presentation/assembly I went up to him to ask about brochures.
He told me they ran out, and after that he said that he knew me and said my name, and I nodded. I was embarrassed cuz I forgot his name. He told me and then we talked for a minute. He said I should go to the meeting next week at the academy and I nodded.
I plan on going.
To the meeting to learn about it.
It's just fascinating and interesting to me.
But anyways right when I was gonna leave he said "Go to JECA next year! I'll see you!" And I laughed and said "Alright, I might. See ya!"
And I left up the stairs smiling all happy.
And that got me stuck on my decisions.
Going to the school I wanted to since 1st grade or go to JECA, in which I stay and take college and highschool course and then go to college early and get my degree and have the academy pay for my college education. Also I could leave me home faster....
Now that's cool.
But then again, I need to have some more years of fun and easy-going times. Get more prepared and have new and extreme experiences.
JECA doesn't have a lot of clubs or sports or stuff that I want and the school I want to go to has it all and I've been excited to go forever to it.
But of course I want to see Balome.
I feel like he wouldn't reject me or leave me out. He's cool and nice. I liked him a lot last year he was just fun and cool to hang around and talk to.
But I guess I won't. *Sighs*
Maybe I'll see him at that meeting next week.
When I'm in Highschool I hope that I'll be able to see him every now and then from different campus's.
Like if they have Tennis at JECA maybe we might see eachother if I join Tennis next year in Highschool and see him.
I hope so, I'd be cool.
Its a bummer though.
But other than that my day was ok.
I cried in 2nd period because I was cutting onions in Skills for Living. >.<
We were chopping and cutting up green peppers for Mrs.Carroll as she put then in a dicing machine and then Mrs.Carroll and I and Payton and Skylar started cutting up onions.
I was the first to cry.
My eyes just started burning like fuck and they watered and tears repeatedly came down my eyes. Mrs.Carroll was second then Skylar's eyes widened.
Dezeray and some other people laughed. It was pretty funny at how bad we were crying and how red our eyes were.
I learned from Mrs.Carroll that onions give off a gas.
Well you learn something new everyday.
Meanwhile my fingernails have been smelling like onion all day...which I love onions and I love the smell but I've washed my hands a lot today and it still smells like that when I get really close.
But then my day went downhill...
It became shitty...it all went down in last class, 7th period...
I had a breakdown in math and was covering my face and trying not to cry loudly and then at the end if class I told my math teacher and Counselor some stuff....my math teacher is the best....
I have a huge headache now.....
I'm kinda scared a bit but Alittle happy they know about it. I just wish I hadn't cried so much.
I never really cry in front of people.
I hate doing that.
I hate it, it just makes me feel weak.
A weak move...
Before I broke down in 7th period we did a project. The counselor have us a project. One was to write the most negative hurtful thing someone's said to us. Of course we didn't have to share it. We allowed to rip it so I practically shredded it. Then we had to write one of the nicest things we were told...
I wrote a thing Scenery had told me before. *Multimedia*
Of course I did....but then that's when it all started....when people went to share their sad stories and how it changed for them...changed to good or what switched the sad/bad to good/happy.
But lot of people didn't really like talking to the class. Four people went up then Mr.Cepeda our counselor called people and they'd either shake their heads 'no' or go up. As soon as he said my name I shook my head fast- Mrs.Valdez laughed cuz I was so fast to shake my head. Mr.C called other people.
And that's when Naomi sat on her desk to tell hers...
She talked about how she'd been bullied way back from 3rd to 7th grade...and how she tried to end her life a couple of times with suicide...and how she cut and then she started crying and Mr.Cepeda got her some tissues....I started getting overwhelmed because this morning Trinity was helping 'Andy' (I'll call her that because I don't want to say her name. She loves Andy Biersack) out with her situation of custody of her cuz her mom....and how it was the same for me and how I did some stuff and how I still do....and then Naomi told everyone that it gets better.
She's happy now and she promises that it will always get better....
That's when I turned in my seat near the door and sat silently and started crying quietly and badly into my sleeve....Dasha went to give Naomi a hug and she was crying.
Then Mrs.Valdez shared a story with us of when she was our age and how she was bullied. But I was stuck on what Naomi had said about it getting better. I was literally trying so bad not to burst out.
I was shaking so badly and could barely breath cuz if I did I'd make a loud gasp sound from trying not to cry....and that's when the bell rang and I was holding my nose and covering my eyes as everyone walked past me hoping they wouldn't notice......
I had to get tissues because my nose was practically-well you know- so I rushed passes Mr.C, my face practically red and my glasses above my forehead, and got tissues and stood by the trashcan for a minute blowing my nose as the last few people left. I covered my face and wiped eyes and inhaled deeply. That's when Mrs.Valdez walked over and asked if I was alright.
I nodded and just wiped my eyes and said "Just family issues." And she said if I ever needed anyone to talk to I could talk to
Her or Mr.Cepeda and they'd listen. I just nodding and then Mr.Cepeda joined and then we talked for a minute and I told them a bit if some stuff that had been going on. After Mr.Cepeda offered to walk with me but I shook my head and left down the stairs and halls myself and wiped my eyes and tried to calm down before going outside. I went to the restroom and wiped my face and then left.
I had to go home right after school because boys and girls club and all the other after school actives were cancelled.
There was a shooting at the Highschool near us and so we needed to be safe. It's also why we used the inside stairwells and weren't allowed to use the outside ones.
I'm really tired now.
I just saw the new episode of Steven Universe so I guess it made
My day a tad bit better...
Perithyst/Amidot...?
Hm....
That's something for me to think about...
Well...
Peace Out Mashins~
~BummedM
