In love with my bully? 💣 🔞 | Harry Styles AU | ON HOLD

Chapter 20

Harry's POV:

I was left speechless, standing still in the middle of the fucking  Cantine.
Anger slowly rising inside me.

Anger was bubbling inside me,
Burning a hole through my heart,
Making me burn in rage,
And  believe me I have a damn good reason to be angry!

It was like a fire awakened within me, consuming my body and mind, running through my veins like poison, pushing aside all rationality and sense of self-control.
Literally blinding me.
My head started pounding...

I clenched my fists so hard, my knuckles turned white.
My breathing coming out short.

I looked at her.

She was smirking back at me, silently mocking me.

Even though no one saw the altercation, it was still a big humiliation for me.

No one ever treated me like that.
What does she fucking think of herself?

I might have been confused about my feelings towards her, but now one thing was for sure : I hate her.

I may be in love with her, but right now I fucking  hate her. I always have, and always will.

Whatever I feel for her isn't strong enough compared to this.

I might hate her and bully her, but there's one thing I hate more, and that's when someone else pick on her or mistreat her.

I fucking can't stand it when Jen is mean to her.
She is mine!
Mine!!

No one else can hurt her but me!

I snatched my hand out of Jen's grip and walked away without another glance towards her.

Pushing everyone out of my way.

Jen tried to stop me, but I just ignored her.

I needed to think.

(Harry's thoughts, a little bit confusing up there 😅)

I walked in the bathroom slamming the door behind me, before sliding down against it.
I gripped my head in my hands and screamed.

I was angry, frustrated, humiliated...

I don't know what to think or to feel at the moment.
My mind is completly blank, numb.

I love her, but I fucking hate her too!

I know she has feelings for me. I can see it in her eyes.

The way she looks at me, the way she blushes whenever I touch her or just look at her.

But she hates me too. I know that. For a fact.

Our relationship was just too complicated.

I don't know...
Ughhhhh

I've build these strong walls around me, never letting any feelings get pass it or even touch me...

But here she comes. Destroying everything. Stripping me bare. Making me vulnerable again...

Every times she manages to distract me and walk pass them.

I don't want to love her!!
I don't want theses feelings!
I never asked for them!

But it feels like the more I try to get rid of these feelings, the more intense they become.

I can't do this...

Maybe I should just harden up a little more?
It's just a matter of a few months...