Part 13 - I don't know who you are!
Connie
I saw the gun, I had never seen one, let alone touch one. I picked up the gun as fast as I could, like lighting. I squeeze the gun in between my thighs and pulled down my skirt. My blood was boiling. The amount of anger that was built up inside of me, I wanted to shout, scream at the top of my lungs at Jacob. I saw the police man walking up towards the car, my heart was beating so fast it nearly fall out and landed in my lap! I grabbed a hold of Jacob's hand and kissed it before the police man approached the car. I wanted Jacob to know whatever this was I was ready to support him, I wanted him to know he didn't need to lie, I wanted him to know he didn't need to face his alone. I was ready to be a team! But if he had been lying this whole time, I don't know him well to be talking love love and love. But he had got me in crazy love, mad crazy love. I was hung up on his heart the heart he had given me. I just hope he was going to tell me soon. The police man banged aggressiveness on Jacob's window! Jacob rolled his eyes, he looked fine when he had a little attitude. Another police men approached my side. I was shaking, my words couldn't, wouldn't leave my mouth. As I whined down the window, I felt my palms start to become wet and sweaty.
"Sir can you show me your licence" the police man said holding out his hand. Jacob handed the man his licence. "Thank you, you make go about your day." The police man on my side looked hard and long into my eyes, causing me not to blink for ages. When the men left I let out the biggest sigh ever. I was so relieved but still scared at the same time. I removed the gun from my thighs it was wet from my skin releasing my sweat. I placed it back in the glove department "Tell Me later" I said to Jacob and nothing more. He dropped me to work, I kissed his big juicy lips for a good three minutes, this bad boy was turning me on if we carried on kissing any longer I wouldn't have made it into work.
As I sat in my office, images of what happened in the car earlier kept repeating over and over again. The question I asked myself was why on earth did Jacob have a gun in his car. He was a nurse for crying out loud, why did a nurse need a gun. But then I thought about the night we had sex in his office he told me he owned 'burst' but..... What? How could he afford to buy a club on a nursing salaryi-. No I laughed to myself as I thought about it. No no he can't be, no I wouldn't believe that! Could he be?, it all fits? - My shift had ended, I was so glad to see 2:00am on my phone. To be fair I just wanted to be in a nice hot shower not thinking about what happened yesterday at all. But it was a little hard to forget it, forget seeing a gun, hiding a gun. Jacob sent me a text 'I'm outside' I did love him, he showed me so much love, love that I hadn't seen before. I never thought you could love so much. Well I love my daughter endlessly but I thought this 'love' I felt for Jacob I didn't know it existed, but it did. I got my belongings and heading to Jacob's car. He looked fucking sexy in his suit, why does he do this I was so tired but I wasn't l enough to fuck him right here. Right now!
"How are you?" He asked rubbing my thigh, as he grabbed my cheeks and latched onto my lips. My hand on his chest. No Connie control yourself not outside the ED, your place of work.
"Fine baby" I didn't want to bring up yesterday as much as I wanted answers and I wanted them now. I just didn't want to ask, I wanted him to be ready and think about it think about everything not have to lie again!
"I have booked a hotel suite for us. We have a lot of talking to do... Well I have a lot of talking to do. About earlier." Damn he was making me wet just looking at him.... But I'm glad he was seen how much I want to know everything.
We arrived at the hotel and we settled down in our room. I don't know why we didn't just go to his place or mine. That confused me but let's just have it his way. He took my waist and placed me on his lap, I was ready to accept anything he was ready to throw my way. I was ready to do whatever for my baby. I wanted him to know I was ready to ride and die for him. This love I was feeling was real it wasn't fake. This real love, the amount of times I looked for this love in 'Sam' I looked deep so deep for this 'love' I couldn't find it because he had given his love away, to another woman but i still looked hard and deep. The nights I spent crying over love, i just wanted to hold a heart, I wanted someone to hold my heart. Now I have found my heart my love I wasn't about to give it up at all. I was ready to go all out for his one! For Jacob.
Jacob cleaned his throat and looked so serious his eyes looked hurt! "Connie you love me?" he said locking into my hands as I rested my head on his shoulder. I let out a little laugh "of course I do. Jacob" I knew this, this lie he had hidden it was deep! "I'm telling you this because I want you. I love you, you know that. I can't hide this from you any longer... " he didn't hesitate at all he didn't move, he didn't pause he came straight out with it.
"I'm a drug dealer"
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Speechless. I was speechless, I couldn't find words, my mind was blank. Did he really just say that 'I'm a drug dealer' I didn't know how to take that or what to do with that! My heart was beating rapidly. I know I said that I will be riding for this man but this was all a bit to much to take in. But this man was my heart, he owned me i owed him, there was no going back. If it meant going to the end of the world with him or even for him I will do that. If it all comes down, if it all come to this. This one man, will he be around till the ever end, will he keep my heart beating. I wanted anything to feel alive, anything to feel my heart beating again, anything to feel like I'm still here, anything to feel like I'm still needed. I'm not needed or wanted in my daughters life so what was I here for. Jacob makes me feel all these, but no I feel like I don't know him anymore, from the start why couldn't here come out with it. I'm ready. I'm ready to support my man!
"Baby, please say something" Jacob pulled me in tight not wanting to lose me. I loved him, he is my world! I just needed a moment to take in all this. It was all so quick! "Jacob..." I rubbed his cheek "I'm ready for whatever, I'm ready to ride or die with you" I'm sure of this I'm sure of everything. I loved my baby. I needed a clear mind I needed to be anyway somewhere "Jacob take me away, somewhere far please. I want it to be me and you" I wanted out of Holby for the weekend or even a week, just to rest my mind. To get to know Jacob a bit more. Where he could get to know more about me. "I'll take you where ever you want" he told grabbing my cheeks and throwing his tongue straight down my throat, he was so gently and rough at the same time and I loved it. "I....I just want....t" he was so handsome his kissing had me day dreaming about the night in club, it was the best sex I had ever had. It was unreal to believe I hadn't been to anyone other then 'Sam'. I can't explain how many times I tried, how many nights I cried myself to sleep over him. Thinking about him and where he might have been, I remember I gave everything I had to him, I couldn't get deep down inside, he wouldn't let me. But how do you love someone who don't love you. Being with Jacob just showed me how much I had missed, missed plenty of days without his touch, his tongue. The nights were so crawl without him beside me. The chemistry was crazy from the word go, I love him so much it hurt "baby do you know what would happen if I lose you, my heart would just stop beating" he told me breaking away from my lips "baby my mind would stopping thinking, your my world" I told him I didn't even need to tell him how much he meant to me, him knew he saw it in my eyes. "All my strengths would turn to weakness, without you, without your touch. I can't see tomorrow if your not in my tomorrow" I started to tear up his words were so beautiful how could I not love him man, how could this man not be mine.
"I chose you, I'm ready!" I told him!
