Pain!

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Part 6

Jacob

It had been a month, since I had see Connie in such damage. It killed me to see her like that, I had never saw the pain, the lies and the scars  in her eyes till that day.

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I heard screams, sobbing and bangs from the pretty lady's office. I had nothing but her on my mind 24/7. She didn't talk to me much since I started working here and she still turned me down... Well didn't turn me down how can a woman not want THIS she must of had work to do. I was thirsty for her love, for her touch. I came close to opening the door without knocking but i stopped myself, I knocked gently just once. I heard a stutter from inside. I walked in seeing the love of my life sat in the corner of her office, in pure darkness. I stood still I had never seen her like this ever I mean I would have thought the boss lady wouldn't be so vulnerable. The office was a complete mess, I ran to her side, sat beside her. I just wanted to hold her tight tell her everything will be okay, but how do I know it will all be okay? I didn't know her situation or story I couldn't promise her until I knew her. I placed my arm around her shoulder while I rubbered my hand on her arm. She didn't hesitate and placed her head on my upper arm. When I looked in her eyes I saw the pain, the hurt and the lies. She wasn't as tough as she made out to be, it's a front to hide the scars, and the darkness behind her eyes. I knew this too well because I did this.

"Will I be ok?" she asked removing her head off my arm. Her make-up was smudged, her eyes looked sore and red, from all the tears she shed.

I couldn't I promise that. It hurt my heart to see her aching. But what if i tell her she 'will be ok' and she falls to pieces again. How will I reassure her again and again. "Why are hurting. I see the pain in your eyes, Connie. Speak to me. Please" I had to change the subject before I commit and tell her I'll hold her till she feels free and painless again till she falls asleep from all the tears she shared with me.

"It's my birthday and it's.... It's-" her words didn't want to come out, but I knew it would hurt her to say them, to say the words the ones that won't work with her. "It's also.... Jacob please just hold me" her tears came so fast falling to my skin. "It's the day my mother passed away today... ON MY BIRTHDAY" she shouted as I pulled her close, she was shaking and cold, I pulled her close so she could feel my body heat and my love.

"Connie why didn't you come to find me. You didn't need to do all this, I'm sure if you had spoken to somebody it would of helped. Dealing with things like this by yourself is killing you inside. Please next Connie talk to me" I wanted to place her in a hot bath, and bathe her. I wanted to tell her because she was with me the arches, the scars would disappear forever. But it wasn't the right time not now. I just, rocked her back and fourth till she was dead to the world, I pitted her up and placed her on the sofa. She slept like an angel. So peacefully, oh how beautiful she was, I wanted her to know how much she meant to me, she was already mine but I wanted her to know that. I made sure she was warm. I cleaned up her office so it was one less thing she had to worry about, after I sat in the chair opposite where she would normally sit and watched her. To see if she had a bad dream I wanted to be here for her to comfort her. I watched her sleep that way I could rest my mind. If I had left her here to sleep by herself and went home my mind would be going crazy worrying about her.

She will be ok. I could say that now.

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