Arkham High

Chapter 12

"Go get us some good seats, sweetheart - I'll see you real soon," said the Joker, kissing Harley tenderly as he left her by the football field. It was Saturday afternoon, and the Arkham Bats were playing a home game against their biggest rival, the Metropolis Steelers. The entire school had turned out for the event - literally the entire school, thought Harley with some surprise, as she saw Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch sitting in the bleachers. She waved and headed over to them.

"I'm surprised to see you two here," she said. "I didn't think you were sports fans."

"We're not," snapped Crane, who had his arms folded firmly across his chest. "In fact, I have utterly no idea how this game is played. I'm only here because Jervis dragged me along."

"You didn't have to come," retorted Tetch. "I just thought it would be better than you sitting at home depressed."

"Why are you depressed?" asked Harley.

"Never mind," he snapped.

"No, c'mon, tell me," she pressed. "Is it because of Eddie's cheating?"

"Oh, good Lord, no, that's actually terribly good news," replied Crane. "It means there's only two of us in the running for valedictorian now. No, I'm depressed for an entirely different reason. A personal one. And that's all I'd like to say on the subject."

Tetch cleared his throat. "Where is your paramour this afternoon, Harley?"

"I dunno," confessed Harley. "He drove me here, but he told me to go on ahead and take a seat. Said he had a surprise to set up. I'm sure he'll be here soon."

"Great," muttered Crane, sarcastically.

"Why did you wanna come to the game, Jervis?" asked Harley. "I didn't know they played this kinda football in England."

"They don't," he replied. "I'm not here to watch the game, obviously."

"Then why..." began Harley, but the cheerleaders raced onto the field at that moment, beginning their routine. "Oh," she finished.

"It's worth sitting through hours of boredom to catch even the slightest glimpse of her," sighed Tetch, gazing dreamily at Alice.

"Jervis, really, this is becoming a bit of an unhealthy obsession," said Crane.

"Don't talk to me - you're no better," snapped Tetch.

"Do you like someone who doesn't like you back too, Johnny?" asked Harley.

He stared at her. "Um...no," he said, slowly.

"He does," said Tetch, nodding. "Ow!" he shouted, as Crane elbowed him in the ribs.

"Is she a cheerleader too?" asked Harley, watching their performance. "It's not Selina or Pamela, is it? You can do a lot better than those two, y'know, Johnny, a sweet guy like you. You deserve a nice, sweet girl."

"Yeah, maybe you can coax a desperate, lonely gal into a pity date one day," agreed Joker, appearing suddenly. He bent down to kiss Harley. "Hiya, sweetcheeks! Missed you."

"I missed you too, Mr. J," murmured Harley, beaming and returning his kiss.

"Some of us are trying to watch the cheerleaders," snapped Crane.

"Yeah, and some of us with girlfriends are trying to make out," retorted Joker. "You do that - we'll do this."

Crane ground his teeth together and tried to focus his attention on the field, rather than the disgusting sight next to him. He couldn't resist an occasional murderous glare at the pair of them though.