Arkham High

Chapter 6

"97?! 97?! Oh God, how could this day get any worse?" groaned Crane, storming into the library after school.

"What's up, Johnny?" asked Harley, as she, Nygma, and Tetch looked up from their respective textbooks.

Crane threw the paper down on the table. "I got a 97 on my history exam! A 97! Can you believe it?!"

"Great job..." began Harley, but the other two started laughing.

"See ya later, Sal!" chuckled Nygma.

"Sal?" said Harley, confused.

"Short for salutatorian," explained Tetch. "Only the second highest academic achiever, and therefore a failure at life."

"Shut up, Jervis," growled Crane, grabbing a piece of paper and doing some quick calculations. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Even with such a grade, I'm still in the running thanks to that 107 I got on my psychology paper."

"What did they knock off the three points for?" asked Tetch, examining the test.

"I was asked what caused the first World War," replied Crane. "So I explained the truth to them: fear. Fear causes everything – it is the motivation upon which all people and nations are shaped. It was the fear of every European country before the first World War that all other nations would outstrip them in terms of wealth, power, and empire. It was fear of losing face that caused them to side with their allies. It was fear of the victory of unfriendly powers that persuaded the United States to join the war. The whole incident was caused, fought, and perpetuated by fear. But it turns out the answer they were looking for was the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand. As if I'm a mind reader and I'm meant to know they wanted a simple, one-word summary!"

"There is only one line for the answer," said Harley, slowly. "And you kinda gave them an essay. Did you even mention Archduke Ferdinand?"

"He was a tiny cog in the giant machine of fear!" snapped Crane.

Nygma snorted. "Pathetic," he muttered, returning his attention to his book.

"Actually, I think a 97 is pretty good," said Harley. "I'd certainly be proud of a grade like that."

"I think, Harley, that you may not be quite familiar with how ruthless and cutthroat a competition this is," said Tetch. "The prize is valedictorian – official recognition from an authoritative source that you're the most intelligent student in the school. High 90s will not do. Hundreds or better are the standard among the three of us. It is an intense rivalry."

"And I've never scored less than a hundred on a test," retorted Nygma.

"Really? Never? In any subject?" asked Harley, astonished.

Nygma smiled. "I'm incredibly intelligent, what can I say?" he sighed. "And I will prove it to the world at graduation, when I am named valedictorian."

"In your dreams, Edward," snapped Tetch. "That title is clearly mine!"

"If Alice asked you to bow out, you would, wouldn't you?" asked Nygma.

"That is entirely beside the point!" snapped Tetch. "First of all, she would never ask me to do such a thing! And second of all, I daresay she'll be so impressed when I am valedictorian, that she will be unable to help herself falling in love with me. I have the motivation of love, so I am destined to win," he said, simply.

"You know that's not really how life works, right, nerdlinger?" said a voice from the doorway. They all turned to see the Joker standing there, grinning.

Tetch and Nygma dived under the table. "What are you doing here, Joker?" demanded Crane, coming over to stand protectively in front of Harley.

"Harley invited me," he said, pulling out a chair and putting his feet up on the table. "Said she'd help me study."