black tide. | ✓

dedication;

"a semi colon represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to. the author is you and the sentence is your life. don't let your story end."

I would like to dedicate this book to a few people, all of whom mean a lot to me, and have in some way contributed to the making/publishing of this book, thank you all <3

(p.s. this is gonna get v v sappy so if you don't like sappy stuff just skip ahead to the prologue!)

1 ) first of all, a couple of people who don't know me, but who I know really well, and love with all my heart. dan & phil, and ethan & grayson. these guys mean a lot to me, so please, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I know a lot of people out there can't understand why I have this connection with people I'm never going to meet (accept for dan&phil omggggg) or know, but really, they've helped me through so much. you guys give me the confidence to do so much, and have made me realise that my weirdness is what makes me special, what differentiates myself from the rest of society and allows me to be myself. whenever I'm sad, all I have to do is go onto youtube and watch your videos, or watch your vines, or just look at a picture of you and it reminds me that there's so much in life to be happy about. I don't know where I'd be without you, probably in a really deep place, distancing myself from reality; but you helped me out of there before it got really bad, and trust me, it almost got really bad. I love you with everything I have, you are actually some of the most important people in my life - thank you guys :))

2 ) my friends. yes, you know who you are you idiots. y'all are crazy af, and I genuinely do not have a clue how any of you put up with my craziness, but really without you there this story wouldn't be up, because you give me the confidence (which on good days is low enough anyways) to believe in myself, and I wouldn't have clicked that publish button without you guys.

3 ) every single person reading this. actually, no. every single person in the entire goddamn world. it sucks, life really sucks. trust me, I know. but you all - we all - get through it, together. you're all here today, still, and we've survived another day, so congrats. I'm proud of you. this is for those of you who struggle with your inner demons day in, day out. those of you who contemplate life and whether or not to keep living it every day. those of you who are confused about your sexuality, but still go out and face the world. even those of you that don't because you're scared - it's okay. you're allowed to be scared. those of you who're a year clean. six months clean. one month clean. one day clean. you're doing great. and trust me, it gets so much better. it may be tomorrow, or it may not be any time soon, but one day it will come, so just keep holding on and you'll get there, I believe in you, and I'm so proud of you for getting this far. this one's for you, I love you. thank you for teaching me how to be strong.

okay, so that was hella sappy and slightly hard to write - but it's all true.

so, I hope you enjoy this book, even if it's sad in places.

and, remember. stay strong, stay brave.

love you,
- elsie xx